I don’t know what to do

r/

I don’t know if this is the correct place to post this but here we go. Im a m20 and im bi. I’m stuck between two people wanting me a m19 and a f20. With the male person that wants me he is nice but gets super jealous when I want to hang out with my friends and then there a potential of him well not living past 30. and he lives really far away and then the female that wants me she Is super sweet and protective over me and will basically go after anyone that tries to hurt me and lives semi close to me I like then both a lot but I can only choose one what do I do.

Comments

  1. According_Ad5136 Avatar

    Honestly my best advice would be to think deeply about. What’s your priority? What do you see in both that you like/dislike. I would say pray, meditate, deeply think about what the outcome of dating could be for dating one or another. Do you want marriage? Do you want a good time? Are ready to take a relationship seriously?

  2. mdlmaooo Avatar

    Kind of cliche, but at the end of the day one will stand out more to you. You know who you are more compatible with and have stronger feelings toward. The difficult part is understanding your feelings. Perhaps writing it down – kind of like a pros and cons list – will help. Writing things down always makes things clearer

  3. pulrab Avatar

    Think about this, whatever they do NOW, they’re probably going to do more and more of once they get more comfortable. So Male probably won’t let you have any friends and will probably need constant attention and Female will probably become more protective and territorial. I don’t think the Female’s thing is a bad thing though. At least since this is all the info I have this is the only advice I can give. I don’t think being with a possessive/obsessive man is a good idea, that’s how people die and get hurt. The girl you can at least navigate if you needed to break up with her.

  4. dfasano Avatar

    pick the woman. she seems cooler.

  5. ilia_timmins Avatar

    ok so you describe one person with only cons and one with basically only pros, seems like the only factor left is why would you choose the person you’re already thinking negatively about. You think he’s controlling, you’re worried if there’s a future, these things shouldn’t be issues this early in a potential relationship. however this is me reading deeper into the little context here so take it w a grain of salt.

  6. 05730 Avatar

    Neither. You got some soul searching to do. Focus on you.

    Personally, I would steer clear of the jealous lovers. They never end well.

  7. GingerWoman4 Avatar

    Why is the 20 yo M going to pass away at 30? But more importantly, you are not responsible for his health. I strongly urge you to break it off with him. And the female sounds too controlling. Both are bad choices.

  8. twistedbrewmejunk Avatar

    I’d say find a partner not a proctor or guardian..

  9. MolokoPlus25 Avatar

    Neither.

    If someone is right for you there will be no question.

    Also, the way you phrase things is very telling. I get the sense you enjoy feeling wanted and protected – and the person is just the one who delivers that.

    Not looking down on you at all – but you are not ready. You’re young, you have time. 💜

  10. Traditional-River377 Avatar

    I guess being bi poses challenges when both sexes are involved. I’m assuming the female knows you’re bi?

    If the bi-male is living in such a way that you feel he will at least hinder you if not self-destruct then you need to split from him. The female sounds perfect so to me it seems like a no-brainer but it seems like you have stronger feelings for the male.

    You need to be with someone you’ll be happy with, allow you to grow, and definitely not jealous or dominating: seems like the choice is clear.

  11. theequeenbee3 Avatar

    Talk to 1 person at a time so you don’t find yourself in these types of situations

  12. turquoiselover_1825 Avatar

    I feel like you should go with the female cause you need your freedom but this is only my opinion if you want to go with the guy go with the guy if you wanna go with the girl go with the girl but if your already thinking negatively abt the guy i recommend going with the girl

  13. QuantumMothersLove Avatar

    Always steer away from jealousy. Always.

  14. Bartok_The_Batty Avatar

    Neither. Both sound controlling.

  15. Sea-Poetry2637 Avatar

    Love the one you’re with until you don’t anymore. Who has time for long-distance jealousy.

  16. Curious-Mirror-1243 Avatar

    Any time you can’t decide how you feel about a person, that’s your inner voice telling you that you need to pick you. Scrape a little money together and go overseas and stay in a hostel and meet some new people for a few weeks and see how you feel after that.

  17. --TheWhiteRabbit-- Avatar

    Choose yourself and leave both of them alone

  18. Cool-Conversation938 Avatar

    Roos a coin. While it is flying through the air, which one are you hoping for? Heads that gal tails the dude. Which one were you hoping for.

  19. Koi_Fish_Mystic Avatar

    Maybe they will consider a polyamorous situationship? If not, the girl seems the more realistic option