This is kinda an AIO post wanting opinions and advice but I just want women’s opinions.
So I have a very hard time getting along with my mil. Shes not a bad person by any means. She just has zero boundaries and tends to butt her head into our lives constantly and her actions make me feel like she thinks Im stupid. She infantilizes her 26 year old son (my fiance) to the point where it’s actually starting to make me angry and uncomfortable. It’s been like this since we’ve been together in highschool. She constantly give advice for thing we dudnt ask for and over explains very simple no brainer things. (No shit once she told me in detail how to lick a stamp to attach it to an envelope)
Anyways, my fiance had double jaw surgery a few weeks ago and his mom was very involved. Shes a CNA. And the surgery was done at the hospital she works at. She visited him every day, same as me. I had no problem with that. But when we got home she was texting me constantly asking me if he’s eaten, how much hed eaten, if Im making him bone broth and ice cream, if she can come over and bring him homemade bone broth. She was also constantly telling me jow to make a milkshake in a blender. Zero exaduration shes told me about 30 times in the past month how to add ice cream and milk to a blender like Im 6.
I told her I had everything covered and I had our freezer completely full with homeade broth and ice cream. While Im at work she came over unannounced and brought a bunch of broth despite me saying our freezer is full and I have it covered. My finace ended up pooring hers out because we had no room for it. The last week has been the same, her comstantly asking to come over, to bring stuff, asking me if im taking care of him, telling me how to make milkshakes and mashed potatos, teexting him and I if hes remembering to take his pain meds and ice his face. Very common sense things that she thinks we are incapable of doing.
It almost feels like shes trying to compete with me and at the same time make me feel stupid by constantly explaining these things. I just hate it so much idk what to do anymore. My fiance is on the same page as me but he knows she means well so wont hell her to stop for fear of hurting her feelings..
Idk what to do, in all honestly Ive tried to have a good relationship with her but when she does all this it makes me feel like she thinks Im a complete moron that lacks common sense.
I want her to back off some and stop infantilizing him and I because it’s unhealthy qnd it’s really making me start to resent her. Im starting to get scared to have a baby becaude I know shes gonna treat me like im stupid.. how do I tell her to please back off and stop trying to baby a 26 year old man?