My bf and I (both 19) have been together for 3 year and I never really enjoy the presents he gets me. I don’t mean to be ungrateful and I appreciate that he gets me anything at all but it’s not necessarily the things that bother me it’s just the effort. He knows I wear silver but always gets me gold and only got me silver once. He complained about how I don’t wear the jewellery he gets me and I told him it’s bc I don’t think gold suits me and I prefer silver but he got me a gold bracelet again for my birthday 2 weeks ago. I’ve been really gotten anything personal from him tbh and it upsets me. I don’t have a job rn show when I get him presents it’s not a lot but I spend all I have on them and try to make them personal. He knows I like reading but l’ve never gotten a boon from him and just stuff like that. I also think he mum helps him with the presents bc she buys a lot of stuff to give as gifts and saves them and I think he pays her for the stuff and that’s why it’s never personal. We have a very good relationship aside from this and I feel like I sound spoilt but I wish he would put in more effort.
I don’t care aboht expensive stuff u just want it to be personal. Any advice in what to do? I really don’t want to hurt his feelings.
I don’t like the presents my bf buys me
r/Advice
Comments
It’s frustrating he still ignores your silver preference after three years. Gifts should show he sees you so tell him no more generic stuff only personal effort counts.
You’ll just have to talk to him about it. Tell him that you appreciate that he gets you gifts, but gold isn’t your style.
Healthy relationships are built on good communication, and sometimes good communication means difficult conversations.
This can also be a good litmus test for future issues in your relationship. If you bring up the gift giving thing in a calm and reasonable way, and your boyfriend gets upset, angry, or defensive over it, then you know how he’s going to react in the future when more serious problems arise.
This is a hard one for sure. I would sit him down thank him for the gifts but ask him to please stop. You appreciate he is thinking of you, but want to be honest with him and the gifts he gives you are not very “you” and you don’t want him to spend hard earned money on something you won’t enjoy as much. I think if you want this relationship to continue and anything to change you just gotta go for it and be honest but kindly. If he takes offense he is not gifting the gifts for you really but for himself which is not the point of gift giving at all. Anyone who wants to make you happy with the gifts they give will listen and take to heart what matters to you. Good luck! 🙏
Gift buying is actually a talent. Some people can do it really well and some people can’t. But remember it’s a gift. Jewelry is a tricky one cuz I’m in the same boat. My husband does not have the same taste as me and I prefer to pick my own jewelry out. I do not point this out or make a big deal of it at all. I accept the gift. I love the gift for what it is and what it means. In the meantime, I buy the jewelry that I really like for myself.
I used to work at a jewellery store, the amount of dudes who had no idea about their partner’s preferences was astounding. The first thing we always asked was if their girl prefers silver or gold and most looked like this 👁️👄👁️ like, do you look at your partner?? Unfortunately it seems to be the norm for most men. I would suggest to choose your presents yourself and have him pay for them, it’s what works for my spouse and I.
He’s a kid and so are you. It’s not a deal breaker, is it?
My nephew’s ex gf used to buy the horrible gifts for him and the rest of the family. We appreciate the effort, but it didn’t mean much to anyone especially him. She didn’t get to know him or us. We all knew it wasn’t going to last. They broke up on their second Valentine’s Day.
Boy, he sure doesn’t listen, does he? What an idiot (sorry)! He would even be able to save money by buying silver over gold. I don’t know what to tell you.