i don’t really know what i need

i guess i just want advice? or to open up maybe? somewhere to rant? i’m just lost tbh.
so i’ve got a long backstory ahead so be prepared.
back in the end of 2023/early 2024 i had an insane crush on this one guy. it was the first time i’d ever felt something so strongly towards someone.
but, i barely knew him.
we didn’t talk.
we weren’t even friends.
we just exchanged looks sometimes.
he was friends with my cousin, but i always got the feeling that she wasn’t into him and just stuck around because he was a fine chauffeur.
i’d catch him staring from across the room.
i’d fantasize about what we could be, but neither of us ever had the courage to say even a word or two to each other.
fast forward to 2 months of this bs. the looks the longing bla bla bla not going anywhere, i moved. just temporarily. end of 2024, i’m back, but to my (not really) surprise, cousin & boy go official. i’ve had time to get over it at this point, and i’m better, and less than a month into 2025 i got into a separate relationship of my own. we kind of all drifted apart and didn’t really see eachother for a few months after that.
in april of this year, me and my boyfriend broke up. he was honestly a really shitty guy & i was never really happy. i broke up with him.
i have to say it was less than 3 weeks later that THEY now broke up. coincidence? maybe? whatever, right?
ive been keeping to myself and moved back away for a while for the summer & now randomly i get added to a group message with one of my closest friends and, you guessed it! this guy. (and another few irrelevant people that barely talk there)
over the course of this week and this group flourishing and us talking both over text & on the phone a lot, i learned that 1. she broke up with him 2. she just up & left with no good reason
i thought i was over it but i still after everything ive done in these past almost two years i still really think i like him. its so conflicting because i dont know if he’d be down considering his history with people so close to me, and how our families and friends would react, etc. (for the record i really don’t talk to my cousin at all she’s given me the cold shoulder for years now and i just don’t really try anymore so it’s not like im homewrecking or anything, were not close our only ties is through blood)

i guess i just don’t know what to do
i don’t know if he’d ever be interested in anything serious and i’m scared to imply that
regardless of how bad of a person my ex is i feel bad saying this but i still longed for him even while being together with my ex. it’s just so messy because of one person.

i thought it was over but then everything’s just come back onto me at once this week and considering we weren’t even friends before it just seems so random and like almost a sign or something that were talking now? and he holds up a conversation and is interested in speaking to me? i just dont know what to think and i need weigh ins.

TL;DR: i had a crush on a guy who got together with my cousin and i never thought it’d get to go anywhere but now theyre broken up and we’re becoming friends and i think i still like him but it’s a messy situation