This is a throw away account because god forbid this ever gets back to me. I am currently a 24 year old male, this entire soap opera went down when I was 18.
Before I continue, some context is required. Me and my best friend were inseparable since we were kids despite the fact we lived a town away from each other. outside of our bi-weekly play dates where my mom would drive the 15 minutes to the next town our main source of bonding was through online video games. We used to wake up a couple hours before school started just to play games together. We were always there for each other.
When I was in middle school my mom and dad divorced, and a couple years later my mom started dating my best friend’s dad, who had recently separated with his wife. This was a bag of mixed feelings because I feel like everyone’s dream is for your best friend to be your family, but my family also is very… volatile, so I didn’t want it to ruin anything. A year or so later they get married and my best friend, his dad (my now step dad) and his brother (My now step brother) come to live with us. This move I would say was the beginning of the end of it all.
That brings us to my final year of high school. I’m so sorry but one more thing. This is the more darker period of my life, I was struggling with depression, Abandonment issues and was angry at the world and my family for the unhealthy dose of trauma that was inflicted on me during my childhood. I would like to preface this by saying that at this time in my life, I was not a good person. I took my hate out on others. I know the damage I caused and have so far spent the entirety of my adulthood changing that and healing the damage that I caused where I can.
So, final semester of highschool. At this moment in time I had given up completely, I was blowing off school very aware that I was going to flunk out of highschool. There was this girl in my class, who I will refer to as X. I was always aware X liked me, but I did not feel the same way towards her, I had just broken up with my girlfriend when X and I started having casual sex. I also want to say that at this time, I am the Asshole here. I knew X liked me and I exploited her feelings just so I could have sex. There is no way that I can atone for that. The fact that I was this kind of douche will haunt me for the rest of my life.
This goes on for the entire semester. One day I am in the kitchen and look out the window into my back yard and see X, as I’m about to go see what she wants. My step brother (who was 24 at the time) joins her and they start hanging out. Apparently they ran into each other when they were both walking their dogs. SB (Step brother) recognized X from when she came to my house once. They bonded over their dogs and their friendship began. I talked to SB about it, he said it was nothing. I noted it as extremely uncomfortable and continued doing what i was doing with X for a week or so. Until they went on their first date.
One final note. I do not believe that X cheated on me with SB, our relationship was purely sexual so she had free reign to stop doing what she was doing with me and go after whoever she wanted. unfortunately she decided on my SB. when this happened no conversation was had between me and X about this, it just happened.
SB did not know about me and X’s relationship, Their relationship was none of my business so I left it up to her to tell him, she never did. For a couple weeks this uncomfortable situation goes on, X stops talking to me all together and is around my house a lot. By a lot I mean she’s their right as school ends and as late as 2 in the morning. As the weeks go on I become more and more uncomfortable and one night, I step over a line and ask both of them about their relationship. The next morning SB comes into my room and politely tells me that their relationship is none of my business and that probing about it was uncool. Which is fair.
So I turned to a mutual friend of X’s and mine and confided in her that having X around until 2 in the morning makes me uncomfortable. I was also worried that she didn’t tell SB about our past, which seemed like something he should have known. unfortunately this conversation did not stay between us and X found out i was uncomfortable with SB and her’s relationship to which she told SB that. When I get home that day SB is waiting for me. He proceeds to yell at me about keeping my nose out of his business and curses me out in front of my 12 year old sister. At this point, all hell breaks loose.
I let it loose that X and I used to have sex, this divides the house. my mom goes on the defence of me saying she doesnt want X around the house anymore, where as my step dad went on the defence of SB. But what irks me is not that SB knew about me and X’s history and continued to date her (which is gross, don’t get me wrong) , it’s that he never came to talk to me about it. not once. From then on he proceeded to not acknowledge me anymore. To this day I still don’t think we’ve actually talked once.
And all in the middle of this, was my best friend. Because he was my only friend, I would constantly complain to him about how much SB was in the wrong, I would call him names and say what he was doing was “disgusting”. But it seems his brother was doing the same thing. I know now that this was wrong, I put him in a place where he felt like he had to choose between me and his brother, but I was too fueled by hate to see this was killing him.
It finally crescendo’d when my step dad came to me and told me what I was doing, and the pain I was causing him. My best friend was backed into a corner, told from both sides to pick between us. we had been drifting away since the marriage, we were growing into different people, not the same kids we were. so… I did what SB didn’t. I talked to him about it, about us and our friendship. and I offered him a way out. I apologized for what I said about his brother and told him that we could just be step brothers instead of friends. He agreed.
X and SB continued to date, certain rules were established saying that she wasn’t allowed to stay overnight,it was the most my mom could do, which I appreciated. Since then it was the cold shoulder from SB and my best friend. I don’t think we ever really talked to each other again. SB hated me, he hated that i was in the way of his relationship, that because of me he couldnt spend the night with her. I would hear them leaving the house late at night, sometimes as late as 4 AM, complaining how stupid it was that she couldn’t stay. My new home was my bedroom, i hardly ever came out until SB and X moved out together a year later. I just didn’t feel safe anymore.
It’s 7 years later now. The family never fully healed. no one ever really talked about it. SB and X dated for about 3 years before they broke up. My best friend and SB avoid me like the plague during the holidays. My step dad tried his best to be neutral, but I’ve always felt like he resented me a little too. I was the villain in this story and I know that I am the ass hole for many different reasons, I truly wish I did so much different
Edit: Saying girlfriend in the title was wrong, at the time of posting I could not for the life of me remember the term “Friends with Benefits”
Comments
You admitted your part but SB sucks too.
He had chances to at least talk to you about it before it got to this point and went this route instead.
At least you’re self aware enough to realize that you are the asshole in this whole scenario.
I think everyone sucks here. But It’s good that you are aware of your fault here.
Also SB was 24??? Ew
So your mum and SD had no issues with SB being a creep dating someone 6 years younger than him
OP, I think you’re taking too much responsibility for this. You were just a kid, going through what sounds like a lot. no one should expect you to have handled that nightmare like a fully grown adult. You did the best you could.
You know who should have handled that like an adult? The 24 year old dating a high schooler.
I hope you’re doing better
That’s rough my man, obviously you’re painfully aware of all you did wrong and roll you played in the resulting pain. You’re right to recognise this and atone for it.
I think it’s also important to give yourself some kindness and recognise that you are a product of your upbringing. You were young and that’s not who you are now. It’s important to be better, but it’s not helpful to beat yourself up or hate yourself for your past.
Ok but you are the villain in this story. For everyone
You literally admitted you manipulated your class mate and used her as a piece of meat for your sexual needs. And then she goes and meets a person who actually wants to date her and not just a plaything and you’re upset.
Why? Cause you didn’t get to use her anymore? And why did anyone need to have a conversation with you? You were an adult, she was an adult who started to date another adult. You guys were never a thing so what was there to talk about.
I hope you have improved as a person. Cause back then you were the villain
I think the title should be “friend with benefits” vs “girlfriend”
man SB suck he date a girl 6 years younger then her and X she literality date her fwb’s step brother like wtf
you realized what you did thats good
one parents should never date there parents of your kids friend most of the time it doesn’t end well
It’s MI’s fault for being older and still wanting to be with the girl, your stepfather has no obligation to you, for him you’re just the boy who has to put up with it because of your mother and your friend has more of a duty to his brother than to you. It would be better for you to worry about yourself and for yourself and leave these things behind. Try to study to earn money, join a gym to help with self-esteem and take up some hobbies to meet new people. Your mom won’t be there for you and you’re basically just having you and that’s what matters.
SB is a predator. Where was X’s parents??? They failed her
SB is ewww n yeah, u was a D, but what teenager isn’t. Was it a good look on ur part no, but X never asked what ya status was n base on her going on dates with SB she knew what she was doing with u. The only major red flag is the SB age in this story, and it lasted only 3 years. Did she get too old for him?
Your SB was 24 years old and dating a high school student & they were angry she couldn’t sleep over. Why was he still living at home is my question?
I’m not sure why your former best friend was so bothered by this drama. Why didn’t he speak up for himself if he didn’t want to be put in the middle? Why did he need his Dad to speak for him?
This whole thing seemed like petty drama imo. I’m not sure why you made a big deal about it since you didn’t care about the girl anyway. You should have just kept your mouth shut. Your SB didn’t need to know anything. Your SB acted like he was in high school too, frankly. Seemed like he wanted to rub it in your face that he won something from you. You kinda played into that by making a big deal about their relationship.
Seems to me you all were struggling with your parents’ divorces & other traumas. You all needed therapy. And not sure why your Mom couldn’t marry someone other than your bf’s Dad. They started dating right after your best friend’s parents separated which makes me a little suspicious as to when their relationship may have actually started.
It’s been 7 years. Find a way to heal it with your best friend. And just never mention the situation to him again. But please adhere to that and never do. Lifelong friendships are shit to lose. Dont let it just die there. Invite him to play games, find the way to show him the fun times you had are special to you, and try to become a better person while at it. The way you speak makes me hope you really find it in you to be a better person now that you’re an adult. And hopefully your friend will see that as well.
I mean… everyone except your former best friend sucks in the story here.
You were salty about your fwb getting a real, loving relationship and became a vengeful asshole.
SB dates a high schooler.
Parents are a-ok with their 24 year old son dating a high schooler.
Former Best Friend really is the only good guy here, poor soul.
If you didn’t even like her and he did what was the problem?
Not wanting your fwb to date your stepbrother who lives in your home seems like a natural reaction.
Even if you never dated or loved one another, it’d be weird af. Then there’s the age difference. I wouldn’t say you were the villain. You were just a kid not wanting to deal with any of that at home.
I give you kudos for admitting to your part of being at AH and everything. I think your whole family is crazy just for the fact that they didn’t care that SB was 24 and this girl was literally leaving High School to come be with him.
I think it’s sad because once you realized that X did not tell SB y’all’s history, you could of easily did it but maybe not in the manner that you did. Just now focused on you and your life there’s nothing else that can be done and hopefully everybody will mend with each other.
It sounds like your family suffered from a severe lack of boundaries and never talked through problems, but rather tried to sweep issues under the rug. Seems like all the children suffered the fallout of dysfunction.
I don’t really understand your step brother in this though, with his weird “how dare you voice anything about my relationship” while the relationship is happening under your roof.
To be fair, we have all been obnoxious teens. You may want to call your best friend and see if he would like to grab a beer
Omg the drama ☕️☕️☕️☕️ I was hooked! I feel so bad for you all.
But I don’t understand why everyone’s being so mad at you when you all have faults. Your parents shouldn’t be allowing your SB to date someone years younger.
And why are they even comfortable sleeping over. The lady, truly, doesn’t have much self respect herself. I would simply never want to visit such a place knowing the circumstances.
SB is disgusting imo. And your bestie should get a grip. You should’ve let it die instead of confiding in miss loose lips. Your step dad is weird for picking sides in their kids’ affairs. I don’t understand his annoyance. That you slept with someone his son slept with and didn’t let it go? It’s all so weird. Doesn’t he have better things to worry about?
I really want to know why you called this girl your girlfriend when you explicitly used her as a meat machine.
So…you treated a girl like shit, and got really pissed off and destroyed relationships important to you because someone else treated her like a person rather than a sex doll. Am I reading that right?
Dude,
You did all this for someone you say didn’t care about? You must have caught feelings for you to go scorched earth with your family.
Were you jealous? If so, why?
TLDR Jesus dude !
Ok so you were kind of a selfish teenager with mental health struggles…it sounds like you’ve worked hard to grow from that. Not everyone does, so good for you there.
Frankly the real AH here is your creeper SB dating a high school student in his MID TWENTIES and not being reprimanded in any way for said super creep behavior.
I’m sorry you lost your closest friend, but if he supports that type of assholery (whether your relationship was salvageable or not) is not a loss in the long run.
Yeah the SB was definitely a creep for dating someone who was still in high school.
There’s legality but then there’s morality and ethical. He might have been safe legally with dating a 18 year old high schooler, but shame on him. Dude couldn’t pull any girls his own age?
One thing I’m not seeing commented on here, like at all, is your ex friend with benefit’s choice to get with your older step brother. And constantly being around your home around you.
She obviously meant more than just a fling. But regardless, it’s one thing for an ex to get with a friend. It’s another thing altogether for your ex to get with your step brother and be around constantly. And having that relationship and all it means shoved into your face.
I can understand how’d that drive a teenager with issues even madder and give you even more issues.
But yeah, at least you’re older now and reflecting on your past. All you can do is move forward.
Lol, you let the girl who spread her legs for you ruin your whole family life.
Remember, she’s never yours, it’s only ever your turn. She probably went for your StepBrother intentionally to cause a rift for you, because you wouldn’t commit anything to her, and why wouldnt you? It’s not like you were banging girls at will, otherwise you wouldnt have been so upset you lost her
This was all avoidable. Seriously the step brother wanted to be with a high schooler? To blow up a family dynamic over this relationship is crazy. Your better off
how could she have cheated on you? You weren’t interested and admitted you exploited her feelings. She picked up on it and started dating someone else. I doubt you guys were actually bf/gf
So you just had sex with her and then felt annoyed that she started dating someone else? It doesn’t matter that it was your step brother, you were there just for sex. Man, that is just stupid! OK, you were kids (I guess, can’t remember the ages anymore) but you need to apologise
Ngl if you’re still feeling bad about this just remember that your older stepbrother couldn’t have been a stand-up dude too if he was still interested in girls in high school at the age of 24 lmfao
Have you made a new best friend and got a gorgeous girlfriend? The best thing to do is live your best life and show that you overcame everything.
Do you and your ex best friend still game? maybe ask him to join on a game 😭 everyone except your friend kind of sucks in this situation, good on you for recognizing where you could’ve done better
I don’t know, man you sound like a bit of a whiny boob. She wasn’t your girlfriend. She was a friends with benefits situation that you took advantage of, and even though the age gap between your stepbrother and X is creepy he most have treated her better than you did so I think it was more embarrassment and the realization that you fucked up. And your pride and hatred towards the world messed up this relationship between you and your friend.
Why did your stepdad not have a problem with his 24 year old son dating a teenager? Not only was it inappropriate but X spending most of her time at your house until 4am is outrageous. Where were her parents? More importantly, all of this could’ve been avoided if SB24 had been respectful by being upfront and honest with you. It would’ve taken away the awkwardness and avoided so much drama?
It’s normal to feel guilty but if you think about it from how everything ended if it wasn’t this it would have been something else. It just seems like you guys weren’t as close as you thought. Also slight chance they’ll see this since this seems to be going viral quick.
‘But what irks me is not that SB knew about me and X’s history and continued to date her (which is gross, don’t get me wrong) , it’s that he never came to talk to me about it. not once.
IDK, could he have been upset at how you treated his gf? Firstly using her for sex, then humiliating her in front of your family and then trying to turn his own brother against them?
Yeah..: you’re the villain in this story. You’re not the victim at all.
You were sorta an AH since you said you used X only for sex, you didn’t date, and she could date whomever she wanted. SB was also an AH for dating a high schooler grad when he was 24.