Hello everyone, I’d like to get this off my chest, and maybe this can help anyone who is in the situation I was in realise they need to get out. This is also my first post ever and my native tongue isn’t English so I apologise in advance for any misspellings. Also, I wasn’t doing very well at the time – insecurities, depression.
It all started in the summer of 2023, at a scout camp. I developed a crush on a guy there—we made a lot of eye contact, but didn’t speak until the very last night, during the big campfire tradition. When we finally talked, I was so excited I even told my parents (which, in hindsight, was dumb). That’s when I found out my dad had his number—because he’d almost run him over with his car once.
So, like any completely rational 13-year-old, I took my dad’s phone, used my sister’s face to unlock it, added the guy’s number, and put it back. Looking back, I regret that moment so much.
For those who are familiar with Snapchat, it notifies you when new contacts use the app too. It notified me that the contact was on the app. I didn’t add him, but when I told a friend about him—let’s call him Jack—she added him. He accepted, and we started talking.
At first, it was innocent. I had just turned 13, and he was 17, turning 18. But slowly, the conversations became more personal and then inappropriate. He sent shirtless pictures. We talked about things that no 17-year-old should be discussing with a 13-year-old. I didn’t realize it was wrong. I was in love and just wanted his attention.
Then came the first change. Jack started talking less. He mentioned meeting a childhood friend—another girl—and slowly stopped replying. It hurt me so much. I stopped eating unless my parents forced me to – because they obviously couldn’t find out. I cried all the time. But over time, it got better. I even met another guy closer to my age and things were getting better, until Jack messaged me again. He apologized, told me the girl was toxic and that I was so much better. I poured my heart out in response, and he was so regretful. I forgave him—and ended things with the new guy. I still feel so guilty about that. He deserved so much better.
For a while, things with Jack seemed perfect again. He made me his secret Valentine. We said “I love you.” But then came Audrey. “Don’t worry, she’s only a friend x”, he said, but it made me so insecure. We still talked every night, so I wasn’t that worried. But one day I asked if they were dating, and he replied, “Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know.” (thanks for ruining Billie’s masterpiece) Eventually, he admitted they were, in fact, dating. I felt disgusting—like I had somehow helped him cheat. This happened in July 2024.
Still, when they went on a four-month break, I forgave him again. We went on like this for months—secret accounts, sneaking messages, even using a second phone he gave me. But things changed. He started friendzoning me. Spent more time with Audrey. It hurt, but I began to move on.
I met someone new, a kind, funny guy. Jack, meanwhile, was dumped by Audrey. I don’t know the details, but Jack said she was a bit crazy and too clingy. Although I don’t know if I should believe that. One night, I told him about the new guy, and the next morning I woke up to a massive, drunken text he had sent at 3 am, telling me he loved me and wanted to be with me. I took a few days to think.
Now, dear reader, I’ll give you a second to guess what I did based on my previous choices…. If you guessed that I left Jack and went to the new guy… you are sadly mistaken. Because I stayed. We dated secretly again. It felt perfect, except when he asked for nud3s, and got really pushy about it. I always said no. That was a clear personal boundary of mine, and I’m so glad I kept it. Eventually, something changed. I don’t know what triggered it—maybe watching my friends in healthy relationships or talking to a supportive teacher—but I realised I needed to leave. In January 2025, I finally ended it.
Since then, Jack has messaged me six times, trying to reconnect. I’ve blocked him on every account. The last message was three weeks ago. And honestly? I feel so much more free, happy and confident.
To anyone in a situation like this: please leave.
I know you don’t see how wrong it is right now, but it is wrong. It is toxic. There is a reason it’s illegal. And you deserve better. So much better. Please, talk to someone who you trust, and who can get you out without hurting the other person, if that’s what you’re concerned about.