I’m not sure where to post this or if anyone here could help me. But, I’ve(F20) been hanging out with this guy(M20) and I’ve started to have a crush on him. He told me he hasn’t ever done anything sexually. One night we had a couple drinks together and went to his house and I gave him head (his very first) and I could tell he was very nervous, I ended up telling him I wanted to take his virginity one day. It was kinda cute how he got all nervous and shy. But now I’m confused because it seemed like he liked me too, but I haven’t seen him for awhile and I asked what he’s up to he said he’s been working. Which I was like ok understandable. But then I’ve been seeing he’s going to parties and stuff and now I just feel like he’s ignoring coming around me. Could just be his nervousness or is he dropping hints he actually doesn’t like me. I’m not sure where to go from here….we have only been talking about a month. any advice would be appreciated.
TL;DR
I gave a guy head now he’s ignoring me. Help.
Comments
Just keep living your life — if he’s really interested, he’ll eventually come back. Ignoring him often works, and if it doesn’t, then too bad.
Luckily, the next guy you’re with will hopefully return your feelings in a much better way.
Good luck.
I’m not judging you at all, but from what you wrote, it sounds like you gave a lot early on without really knowing where his head or heart was at. That can sometimes lead to situations where you feel used or left wondering where you stand.
If you focus on building your self-respect, boundaries, and emotional connection first, you’ll naturally attract guys who value you and not just the physical side. Waiting until marriage (or at least until you’re 100% sure about the relationship) can protect you from getting hurt and from people who just want the fun without the commitment. You deserve someone who’s serious about you before you share that side of yourself.
I would text him if with the question if he’d like to go on a date. And literally use that word, so he knows you don’t just mean ‘hang out’ like you’ve done before. If he says no to the date, he is not interested in dating you. If he says yes to the date, he is interested in dating you.
Also, maybe for future reference. But as a woman, if someone told me they want to take my virginity some day I’d be a little scared. I know a lot depends on context, and it’s different if he asked in some way (“lol, you want to take my virginity too?” “yeah, some day”). But I can totally imagine hearing this can feel a little intimidating for a guy as well. But I don’t know the full context, he might’ve been fine with that statement.