I f24 have been broken up with by my 25M boyfriend who misses his life before we was together

Hi guys, I really need some unbiased advice as I’m broken and I feel like I’m loosing my mind.

I F24 have been in a relationship with my M25 boyfriend for 1 year and a half. To give context, my boyfriend is Muslim and my family are non practicing Christian’s. When we met he told me he doesn’t want me to convert and would be comfortable with me meeting his mum and dad around 6 months into the relationship. His mum said she does not want to meet me unless we get Islamically married and over time my boyfriend moved into my flat and paid his share of the rent and food shopping. From the start of the relationship he told me he doesn’t want me to go clubbing and doesn’t want me to wear very revealing clothing which is something iv respected. I made it clear that the idea of lads and girls holidays is something that I don’t find comfortable due to the things I see happening during these holidays, same sort of reasons he wouldn’t want me clubbing.

I trust my boyfriend, and my boyfriend trusts me. He doesn’t want me in those environments and I don’t want him in them either, it’s something we both made clear we feel strongly about.

My boyfriend goes back home to his parents house for the full day every Sunday, and I usually stay at mine and do all of the cleaning around the flat, the washing and tidying up. I feel like during our relationship I have to prompt him to help with any of it, and he will usually do it to a poor standard and makes it difficult for me to ask those things of him. He also expects that I do the cooking around 4 days a week and he will order food a few days, he will put the plates and pans in the dish washer and forgets to even turn it on or put anything away afterwards. We both work full time and he often does revision for some exams after work which means he has less time than me so I do end up picking up more household chores than him.

Around 1 week ago, my boyfriend told me fairly out of the blue after we returned back from a holiday together he misses his old life before we was together. He wants to go on holidays with his friends and gave me an example of a holiday he wanted to go on (this is a clubbing holiday, lots of drinking and he said his friends are single and will be probably bringing girls back to a villa they will share). He also told me he wants to go on weekends to another city alone to see his friends and doesn’t want me to come anymore (we have been to see his friend and his friends girlfriend together, but he doesn’t want me to come and just wants to go alone) he told me he hasn’t been happy together in the year and a half and wants independence and doesn’t want to think about my feelings anymore. He said that he is going to do these things, and if I’m not going to put on a happy face when he does these things and if I seem upset then he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. We ended up splitting up over this.

This is not strictly just based off the holidays, I am also upset over the trips away as we live together and I barely spend any time with him through the week as he’s so busy, I feel like I’m his maid doing everything for him. And we have a Saturday only to do something together which he usually tells me he’s too busy or does not have enough money to do something with me. Then he goes home to his families house whilst I stay here cleaning on a Sunday. This situation has left me feeling like he only wants to be with me for the things I do for him, and he’d prefer to spend quality time with his friends. We have been on holiday 2x this year, and not very many dates on weekends. The only thing I have to look forward to in our relationship is these holidays we go on together where I feel like I have actual time with him and no distractions. I was hurt because him saying he wants to go on holidays with friends and spend weekends away means even less quality time together than we already had.

After we had broke up, he came round to the flat after we was no contact for about 1 week looking for a t shirt he left. He told me he misses me, he’s sorry about that as he knows the holiday he gave me an example over was disrespectful and kind of acknowledged we don’t do anything except from going on holiday together. Things seemed to be getting back on track except he keeps changing his mind on wanting to make it work. He keeps telling me he loves me and wants things to be fine then he doesn’t. A day after he turned up at mine and I was upset because he came round for only a few hours and told me he’s too busy to talk about things properly. This ended up in an argument as I feel like he isn’t focused on fixing things and he called me a bunch of horrible names and shouted at me and said pretty unforgivable things. The day after he came round with flowers to say sorry, then said if I’d like he’d come round later to sleep over as he’s busy all day. When he eventually turns up he starts hassling me about the holiday situation which lead to me crying my eyes out saying if he still wants to change my mind why come back and make things more difficult? Straight after that he told me he’s got plans on Saturday with his friends and is busy the rest of the week. I stormed off as I don’t feel like he’s making any time to fix our problems and actually get things back on track. He ended up staying round and saying in his eyes I’m still his girlfriend then this morning says it won’t work as he can’t make plans without me being upset.

During our relationship he has made plans without his friends and I have never cared, it’s literally the holidays and spending even less time with me that’s starting to bother me as I feel like I do everything in the relationship but when it comes to doing nice fun things together he doesn’t want to do those with me anymore.

I do understand a lot of people are okay with lads and girls holidays and going to clubs and bars in relationships, he and I both made it clear it’s not something we like. I just feel like there’s a massive shift in energy and I feel like it’s fairly hypocritical for him to hold some standards to me and not follow them himself. Also I’m hurt he said he understands and wants to work things out and has absolutely no time to talk about issues or really work things out. I don’t know where to go from here, I’m really hurt and upset. I just want some unbiased opinions to try and help me through this situation as I’m worried anyone in my personal life may be giving me biased advice. He also told me nobody would want me within 3 months of knowing me, I’m controlling, his friends and family don’t like me as he’s told them about the situation but he still wants to give things a chance but then he keeps changing his mind.

Sorry this is a super long post my emotions are everywhere and I hope this wasn’t confusing and iv given enough context.