A few years ago, I lost my entire family when my mom, dad, and little brother were killed in a car accident. Everything changed in an instant. It felt like the world kept going and I just got stuck in the wreckage. The only thing I had left from that life was our dog, Milo. I took him in right after. He was the only piece of my family I had left. He remembered all of them in the way only a dog can. He used to curl up on my brother’s old blanket. He’d sit by the door every day around the time my mom used to get home. He kept them alive in small, quiet ways, and somehow he held me together too.
Last week, I had to say goodbye to him. He was older and slowing down, but it still happened so fast. One day he was eating and wagging his tail, and a few days later I was holding his paw on the floor of the vet’s office while he took his last breath. I haven’t stopped crying since. It’s not just that I lost my dog, I lost the last part of my family. The last heartbeat from that life. Now it’s just me. The house is so quiet. His collar is still by the door. I keep thinking I hear him walking around and then I remember he’s gone too.
I feel like I’m grieving all of them all over again. Everything I’ve buried over the last few years just came rushing back and I don’t know how to carry it. People keep saying “he was a good dog” or “he lived a long life” and I know they mean well, but no one really gets what he meant to me. He wasn’t just a dog. He was my family. My best friend. My comfort when I couldn’t breathe from the pain.
I don’t know what I’m asking for. I guess I just don’t want to feel so alone in this.
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Idk how it all went down, bro, but legit sounds like you dodged a bullet imo. Tough now but it’ll get better. Don’t need that toxicity in your life.
Wow you’ve been through more than most people do in a lifetime. You’re processing it and it can seem overwhelming I can tell. We never really know how much a pet fulfills our life until they are suddenly gone. I’m very sorry for your losses. Be a true survivor in everyone’s memory! Peace.
I’m so sorry. This shattered me to read. Milo wasn’t just a pet, he was the last living heartbeat of your old world. You’ve been carrying a mountain of grief for years and now it’s all crashing in. It makes perfect sense that you feel like you’re drowning. You’re not broken, you’re grieving something immeasurable.
I always honor my dog that passed by adopting a rescue. There’s just too many dogs in shelters that need homes. Maybe you should do the same.
I’m so sorry, OP. I get what you mean by losing the last link to something nobody else can quite fill.
Do you have a safe friend? A counselor? Someone to talk to? You’ll definitely be processing grief all over again.
Go get a new dog as soon as u feel you’re slightly ready