My husband (m34) and I (f32) are going through marriage problems. I am 33 weeks pregnant with his child. He brings up divorce every few days and has arguments with me over silly things. I am not working now so he pays all my bills. I also don’t want to bring up my baby in a broken family so trying to work on the relationship.
I got sick during the pregnancy as it’s a high risk pregnancy. My mom came to help me and she stays with us for now. My parents are green card holders and my parents were planning to go back to their house in another country. Due to my excessive marriage troubles ( he even put his hands on my throat once even though he didn’t choke me ), my mom stayed with me at my request and my dad went back home alone. My parents are in their 70s. My moms staying with me helped my mental and physical health a lot but my husband has grown to dislike her even though she is sacrificing a lot by staying here.
My mom is very sweet but she can’t stand when my husband verbally abuses me. So she speaks out for me and that’s why my husband can’t stand her now. He threatened to divorce me as my mom is staying with me for a few months now. I told him my mom would go away soon but I need help now and with the newborn baby for a few months. He doesn’t agree but at the same time he also won’t help me himself.
My dad is also supposed to come in usa in September. My husband is already upset at the prospect of my dad staying here. My parents don’t have their own place in usa. They used to live at my eldest sisters house, but due to some issues they can’t stay there anymore. My middle sister who lives nearby 30 mins away is incredibly selfish and even though she is the most successful financially and family wise, she wont let my dad stay. My brother is awsome and will help out but he lives in another state. I want my parents specially my mom to live with me for a few months but my husband is totally against my parents especially my dad staying.
He keeps telling me if my middle sister doesn’t let any of her own family members stay even for a few days then why should he let my parents stay? He also brings up the fact, I don’t want his parents to stay with us. The thing is his parents basically hate me and whenever they come, they try to break us up. My husband insists his parents should also stay for a few months. It worries me because last time his mom wanted him to divorce me and my husband basically told me he will file for divorce but then he reconciled with me saying that he loves me. I became pregnant and both his parents were furious at my pregnancy. During my pregnancy he threatened to divorce me again and again but then he always makes up with me. So I don’t want my husbands parents to stay with us.
I don’t know what to do now, I feel like if my father stays with us it will really damage our marriage further. My husband will ensure his parents stay with us like my parents did but his parents really dislike me and want him to divorce me. At the same time, my mom says she already lived with me leaving her husband. So this time when my dad comes, she will stay wherever he stays. She says they will stay at my brothers place and then go back but I really need her help with the newborn. I feel guilty for separating my parents and my mom has to work a lot for me when she usually has a comfortable life. She is basically sacrificing her comforts by staying with me.
TL;DR: My husband doesn’t want my parents staying with us for a few months but I really need my mom to be there.
Comments
Why would you subject an innocent child to an abuser?
Pack your things and your parents and go to your brother’s in the other state before you have that baby. Establish residency there, and get the hell out of this situation.
OP you need to bite the bullet and end this marriage. I’m sorry.
So everyone hates each other. I don’t know why you think raising a child in a house full of hate is better than being raised by parents who live separately in a better environment.
You would rather bring a child in an abusive marriage than broken one? Put on your best running shoes and get out of there.
If your parents would agree, have them get an apartment, even a short term lease so you can stay with them. Get a job as soon as you can after baby is born and find childcare.
A baby born into this hateful abusive household is gonna be sooo much worse for them mentally than being raised in two homes.
You’re not in a good spot but also you can’t tell him his parents can’t stay with you while expecting him to be okay for yours to stay for an extended period of time:
Jesus Christ. The bar is on the ground and women continue to crawl on their hands and knees for crumbs
A broken home is an abusive home. Divorcing and having a baby in a noy abusive environment is the best option.
What? This is before a child? Dude it’s not going to get better. You need a peaceful, loving, healthy environment to raise a kid, and this ain’t it. Since you don’t work and you don’t have reliable family to help you financially…. This will be rough. But honestly get a divorce, he’ll pay to pay alimony and child support. You’re going to find a job somehow. Whole thing sounds dramatic and toxic as heck. I also see his point of view as why are your parents staying when his can’t.
I had to stop reading. Why are you bringing a child into a house like this? A broken home is better than your kid seeing someone abuse you and maybe eventually abuse your child.
Are you seriously going to raise a child with a man like that? Are you seriously going to subject him to the same torture that you suffer? I hope you open your eyes and are not so selfish as to put your son through hell like that…
Please contact someone who can help you to get out of this abusive relationship.
Neither you nor your child are safe with this person.