I (F38) and feeling stuck and overwhelmed in my relationship with my boyfriend (M52)

I’m feeling stuck in my relationship and I’m trying to decide how much more time I should give it before I end things if they don’t get better. Part of me just wants to end things and not have to deal with it anymore but I don’t know if that is the correct path. I (F38) have been dating my boyfriend (M52)for about 9 months. We have a good relationship, we communicate well and he is extremely thoughtful and treats me well.

Background: he is still married and has been going through a divorce for over a year and a half. He has divorce papers but his ex keeps putting off signing them and he doesn’t want to take her to court. They have 2 elementary-aged kids they split custody of about 50/50. He has traditionally worked from home, but has been on unemployment these last couple months.

Even though our relationship is solid, I feel like these last couple weeks I have just been less excited about hanging out with him. I also feel like my sexual attraction to him has almost all but disappeared. I think this boils down to 4 main issues.

Issue 1) I work a very mentally exhausting job and it is our busy season. When I get home from work, I just want to go home and be alone whereas he wants to hang out. When he has his kids, we don’t hang out until after they are in bed (so after like 9:00). If I am at his house, I then end up having to leave late at night or leave really early in the morning because they don’t know I stay the night. I feel like this throws off my nights after work because I just am waiting around until it’s late enough to hang out with him and it cuts into my sleep time. I am started to get frustrated/annoyed with him wanting to hang out. However, I worried that I am just pushing him away because I am overwhelmed with work and I don’t feel like that’s fair to our relationship.

Issue 2) I feel like I love him, but I’m not IN love with him. I’m not super excited about kissing him in public or getting pictures of us together and just don’t feel really passionate about our relationship. I also feel a little bit weird/maybe embarrassed with him around my friends (partially due to the age gap and partially because he talks a lot/talks about himself a lot/seems to run away with the conversation sometimes).

Issue 3) He also goes to the bar a lot. He’s not getting drunk when he goes, he just has a drink or two. He seems to go during the day relatively frequently. I understand that when he’s working from home or doesn’t have a job, he gets bored and needs social interaction. I work 40 hours a week so I don’t have that issue but I try to be understanding. He also really loves singing and ends up going out at night for karaoke 1-4 times a week. He does invite me when I’m available and, while it was fun at first, I feel like I’m getting burnt out going to the bar. To be clear, I’m not worried about him cheating on me and I do trust him when he goes alone, I’m just not sure if I want to be with somebody who does spend so much time at the bar.

Issue 4) Some of these feelings did start when I found out he was bragging to his single friend about the “hot chicks” that he was getting to hang out with (hint, he wasn’t referring to me). We talked about it and he apologized. He did explain that he was just trying to look cool in front of his friend (who was newly single and bragging about how so many people were interested in/hitting on them). I kind of get where he’s coming from but it seems like immature behavior. Also, shouldn’t he want to brag about me and our relationship instead of trying to make himself look cool or desirable to his friend?

He’s a really nice guy and I know he genuinely loves me and I do enjoy spending time with him a lot. It just sometimes feels overwhelming or like an annoyance, especially combined with the fact that I’m not feeling super in love with or sexually attracted to him right now. Is it worth giving the relationship more time to see if I get over these feelings? If so, is there any advice on how to deal with the above issues? Or, once I start feeling this way, is the relationship over?

TL;DR: I am feeling stuck and overwhelmed in my relationship. I feel like I’m much less excited to see my boyfriend and my sexual attraction to him has dropped a lot. Part of it is possibly because I’ve been super busy and overwhelmed at work and I might be pushing him away because of this. However, there are also some things that I’m not thrilled with him doing as my partner (like bragging to his friend about hot girls he gets to hang out with and going to the bar a lot, both with and without me). Should I give the relationship more time to see if this feeling passes? Or is this a sign the relationship is over