During my second year in college, I was overwhelmed. I was behind in several courses, working late shifts and on the verge of flunking out. Instead of seeking help right away, I lied. I told the student disability services I had dysgraphia, a neurological disorder that affects writing and fine motor skills.
I researched everything, how it’s diagnosed, the unusual symptoms, even how my hand writing should look. I claimed I’d been “undiagnosed” for years and that I struggled with note-taking and writing essays under time pressure. I said typing was easier and that couldn’t keep up with in-class work. I even made my hand writing sloppier during tests to match the lie.
Within a week, I had a letter from the office that gave me privileges: extra time on exams, the right to type instead hand write, and even access to a note-taker in class. Professors went out of their way to support me. Some even told me they were proud I was “pushing trough.”
But I wasn’t. I was cheating.
I saw students around me genuinely struggling, some with dyslexia or mobility issues and here I was abusing system meant for them. The worst part? I didn’t even need an A. I just didn’t want to admit I was drowning.
I eventually graduated, and no one ever found out. But I haven’t forgotten. That fake diagnosis got me through school, but it also rewired my conscience. I’ve since donated regularly to learning disability orgs and volunteered with accessibility groups, but still feels hollow.
I disrespected a community I now deeply admire. And that diploma I earned? It still feels tainted.
Comments
You got the degree and no harm done.
I drowned a lot myself in college and I wish I had thought of this. Probably could have gotten out a semester or two faster.
Nice work.
Ive got dyslexia, ya a struggle through early learning, my hand writing us still shit lol. Well, it served it purpose you got through so bugger it, you made it. Fake it to make it, skive to survive n all that. Your actions have lead to where you are now, life’s a journey. If you had dropped out your life might if been harder then it now. You’ve admitted your sins so to speak. Move on and love the journey. 👍
i have dysgraphia and was horribly abused by my teachers especially in middle school over it. i dropped out of high school and don’t have my GED still as a result of my school refusing to give me special education for dysgraphia, dyspraxia and dyscalculia (i got the triple whammy apparently) — they tried to locked me in a counseling room for the entire school day for months to avoid teaching me.
i’m all for gaming the system. its unfair on all of us, and if you can get a leg up then get the leg up. getting benefits you didnt deserve isnt it, but you werent doing anything that actively harmed another person. and at least you grew a better conscience out of it.
you suck man.
That’s a tough situation… I’m glad you’re trying to make things right now, though.
I have quite a few physical and mental disabilities and I gotta say, this is an excellent example of why EVERYONE should have better access to accommodations when they need it, whether they have a diagnosis or even a “real” disability or not. Bc at one point adhd wasn’t considered a disability and same for a lot of disabilities. I appreciate and know some accommodations aren’t gonna be as helpful, such as a teacher wearing a mic that goes to my hearing aids directly, but some could help a lot of others such as ramps or pre made notes/slideshows being available whenever anyone needs them.
I’ve a boat load of learning issues. And on one hand, it was a crap move on your part. But on the other hand, you now have appreciation for folks who are really dealing with things like that and worse. So stop feeling so crappy about it. Continue to champion for folks that have these issues. Because there are folks like whose teachers wanted to paddle (yes, you read that correctly) because of my learning issues.
Timed exams are bollocks anyway.
You were able to get more out of your studies because you were given the support you needed. So what if you got the support for the wrong reason? It worked. You learned your shit.
On top of that, you learned what kind of hoops other people have to jump through to get on a level playing field, and how much they would struggle if that support wasn’t available. It’s good that you do things for disability support charities, it’s not good that you beat yourself up.
It’s okay to feel guilty. It happens sometimes. I have friends who did the same thing during high school and university. What matters is that you have reflected on it and gained a real appreciation and respect for people with disabilities. That shows you are not someone who abuses the system on purpose. You were in a tough situation that made it hard to succeed, so what you did is not necessarily bad.
Also, this might sound bad, but I’m all for finding loopholes or easier ways to get marks, especially when some professors make things harder than they need to be. As long as it supports your learning and helps you grow, why not? Just make sure it’s not about cutting corners for the sake of it, but more about getting the support you need to move forward.
You’ll be alright
You don’t have to have proof and documentation for an accommodation?? Even for my GED I needed documentation from a doctor stating i needed accommodations for math.
As someone with dysgraphia diagnosed, I forgive you. I would write you an excuse note but you wouldn’t be able to read it.
My son has had a fair amount of that type of support for autism and issues with fine motor skills, it’s such a blessing.
The way the system is set up, unless you can focus 100% on your studies, not have to work and have no outside stressors, you’re at a disadvantage. We can’t all be born able bodied and we can’t all be born rich. Stop feeling guilty for using the service. If those services aren’t used they’re wasted. You weren’t taking from anyone, everyone around you struggling with genuine disabilities should have been offered them too. Note the amount of disabled folk in the comments who are unfazed, you’re good. Put it to good use!
Everyone is entitled to supports, as someone with dyslexia and dysgraphia I say good on you. You were struggling and you leveraged existing programs to your benefit. You may not have needed them for what you claimed, but you obviously did need them.
We pay far too much money for college only to be set up to fail. Don’t be hard on yourself because you needed help and got it
I actually have dysgraphia and my university’s disability services suck, so I never got accomodations that actually helped me. Luckily in the 2020’s college professors don’t care that much if you take notes on the computer
I wish I had thought of that, considering almost none of the garbage I got tested on in college ever served me professionally.
I don’t think you did anything wrong. Accommodations should be available to everyone since you’re legit paying for these courses. Other students might not have to balance working and going to school, you did. It’s hard. The accommodation helped. That’s good.
It “feels” tainted because it is tainted. No different than if I paid someone to pass a test for me.
Chatgpt. At least you made the effort to remove the em dashes
Autistic person here. You should have had this support for no other reason than that you simply needed it, even if temporarily. You didn’t cheat. I wish you could’ve been honest about the why, for your own sake only, but you didn’t cheat, you got the help you needed in the most straightforward way you could come up with.
You still made it through a tough time and you should be proud of yourself for turning the situation around so you didn’t sink deeper.
kinda just staring at this in awe bc i do have multiple disabilities i don’t get accommodations for bc of lack of diagnoses 😭😭😭
i don’t think most care abt other academic integrity unless you’re their doctor or lawyer though
Don’t feel bad OP, you did what you had to do to survive college. I’m not saying it’s right, what I am saying is forgive yourself.