About a month and a half ago, I became obsessed with Chobani flip yogurts. I’m not lactose intolerant but I think it’s making my farts smell bad. A few weeks ago, my roommate and I both left for the weekend. I came back and had to fart real bad because I didn’t want to do it on the pubic bus (bc rude). I farted and it smelled real bad. I thought it would clear up before my roommate got back, but to my horror, they walked in just a minute later. It still smelled bad. My roommate starts looking around for the source of the smell. They look in trash cans, laundry buckets, etc. but can’t find anything. I’m mortified. They open the window and ask me about it. Embarrassed, I just blamed it on the AC problems our residence hall had been having. My roommate believed it and I thought that was the end.
However, it gets worse. My roommate has an INSANE sense of smell. I can’t fart in the room at all. If I fart I immediately open the window and point our fan blowing outside. I then spray a little bit of Lysol spray to make it smell better. Idk HOW they still smell stuff because I’m trying everything. I do my best to not fart in the room but sometimes I just gotta do it. It hit a breaking point today when my roommate’s mom visited and tried to help them find the source of the smell. They still don’t know it’s me. Their mom left after staying and chatting for a bit. I was beginning to think that maybe there was some other smell coming from the vents, because SURELY my farts aren’t that bad. I asked my roommate if the smell was the same smell from when we came back from going home for the weekend. And they said YES. It took everything I had to not break. I’m in too deep. I have to keep it up. We only have two weeks left. I’m not eating my yogurt anymore but the damage is done. I feel so bad but at the same time it’s honestly really funny. I’d be so embarrassed if they found out I’d probably just die then and there. I must take this secret to the grave. (And by grave I mean Reddit)
Comments
Everybody farts. It’s alright. Part of the human experience is learning to be comfortable with your own and others farts, especially those you live with. “I have really bad gas and I’m really embarrassed about it so I have been blaming the smell on other things, but nope, it’s me, i can burn incense or something if you want?” should suffice, I would definitely tell them before they go looking again, searching for the source is probably driving them crazy.