I (19M) feel like my girlfriend is draining me emotionally. I do not get much time for myself, all my time either goes into classes or with her or sleeping, i am one of those people who doesnt like to talk much but am usually energetic around people. I lose my energy around her.
I dont get time to spend with any of my friends, and she is sad or emotional over one thing or the other most of the times. I try to console her but its getting too much for me, we are always fighting.
Anytime i am not there for her emotionally because i myself am sad or dealing with some emotions, i am the villain. She tries to act normal at the time till i feel better, then stays angry with me that i should keep my feelings aside at the moment and help her ( she does the same for me, but i feel i am not mature enough to do the same).
I am not able to work properly towards my goals and exams due to all the time spent on fighting or making up.
We have faced multiple breakups in the past but we come back together within a day, and now we have promised each other we wont break up whatever happens and will work through it, but i dont know what to do.
She makes me feel like i am the culprit and she is the victim in every scenario, which is making me an overall emotionally disconnected person
TLDR: Girlfriend is very emotionally givinf but requires just as much which is not possible from me, she is frequently sad and crying but i dont know how to help and its draining me as she always portrays me as the villain.
Comments
welcome to men existence. Is going to be like that forever, no jokes
Just break up? Why stay in a relationship that makes you miserable?
> now we have promised each other we wont break up whatever happens and will work through it, but i dont know what to do.
Oh. That was stupid.
Break up anyway. Unless you are dead set on compounding your mistake?
My first long term partner at your age involved a lot of fighting and breaking up/getting back together.
I’m 15 years older now, and can say with certainty – that’s not healthy. My wife and I have had two fights in 5 years and have never even come close to breaking up over them, because we have a healthy relationship. You don’t have a healthy relationship or healthy boundaries,and it doesn’t appear your GF is willing to work on that.
I was in the same situation with my now gf, we actually broke up because i couldn’t take it anymore, then we just met and talked about it, I explained the situation the way you explained it in this post, and she understood and we’re happy together now, so just communicate, if she’s the one she would understand