This is going to be short and sweet and to the point. I am 29 about to turn 30 in two months. I feel like I am not progressing as fast as my friends and my sisters in my career, life, personality, life lessons and just in general where I should be by now. I feel like I am absolutely failing at being an adult. I am educated, have a bachelors degree, I am in a solid 6 year relationship with a man I love dearly, I don’t make a horrid salary and yet I feel like I am not remotely close to what I should be at this age. Everyone always says that being in your 30s as a woman it really does get so much better and you find out who you are and you worry a lot less about where you are in life…. PLEASE tell me that’s true and that the shit hole that is your late 20’s doesn’t continue on from here lol.
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I would begin by asking: what psychological function do you think giving yourself such a hard time is actually serving? Some part of your brain must think it’s useful to be so tough on yourself, otherwise you wouldn’t do it. What do you think would happen if you loved yourself exactly where you were?
My guess is that you perhaps fear subconsciously think that if you were easier on yourself, you would lag behind even more (in your comparison-ridden brain), you would become lazy and slow down. What if that’s not true? What if you were to love yourself, you would find a different source of energy and inspiration?
You’re not failing at all, we are all on our own race in life not with anyone else-even though it’s hard not to compare ourselves.
I’m 32 and I’m not where I want to be in life(I’m single, few friends and often feel lonely and inadequate in relationships) however I am trying( even though it’s hard) to have gratitude in life.
Sometimes we have to try to have gratitude for what we have and hope for what may come in the future. I’m sure things will get better for you in your 30s.
You said it yourself – You’re educated, you’re in a good relationship, you have a decent job. So why then do you feel like a failure? Is there any tangible goal or checkpoint that you haven’t achieved?