I still love her of course, she is my mom. I appreciate everything she has done for me and the good times. But as an adult I see her much clearer somehow. I see her imperfections. I see a lot of things I don’t like. I get annoyed at her often. I consider myself to be quite humble and emphatic of others feelings, she is not so much. I see her selfishness, her strong ego etc. and it puts me off. I’m nearing 30. She was born in the early 1960s.
I wonder if this is just a normal part of becoming an adult and maturing or if it’s our relationship that is rocky? I think maybe as a kid you are not as aware and put your parents on a piedestal? Or is it the boomer – gen-z clash? I find her quite emotionally immature and sometimes feel like I have been more parent to her than the opposite.
(I do however try to see and focus on the good in her and be grateful we still have each other, I don not take life for granted)
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Very normal.
I don’t think you should love family less because you see their imperfections.
Totally normal, as a child they are like a god, as you become more equal as an adult you see them from a much different perspective
Every relationship will have ups and downs. You are just at the down time of it but as long as you understand that she’s your family and you stick to each other through rain and shiny days then you will be fine.
You can like someone, love someone, and respect someone. Personally I love my mom, but I don’t like or respect her. It’s ok.
I believe it’s normal.Cause I feel the same as you and I’m only 21 now.
I feel like this about my brother. He was my hero as a child and we did everything together. But as we got older, his allure has lost its luster. He’s emotional intelligence is not as great as his intelligence. I’m disappointed in his need to insult. But he’s still my brother. My mom needed a lot of care as she aged and I kind of grew to resent it.
You’re an adult now and you notice her flaws and inconsistencies the same way you notice them in anyone else.
Your mom probably still loves you the same, but in a similar way, you probably have traits that annoy her as well.
It’s a bit normal but can vary. Idk your mother obviously but yeah. Also expect your outlook on her to change once you have children. It may cause you look at her possibly more negatively or the opposite. It may make her flaws more understandable and relatable
Generally, children don’t view parents as people per se. Rather they see them as all knowing, can do anything, super beings*. As you grow up and mature, you start to see them as the flawed people we all are.
*Assuming a stable childhood. I knew my father was scum as a child due to his actions. As for my mum… As a 37 year old, I look back to when I was 13 and she was 33 and it blows my mind that she had four children and moved us across the city, all whilst struggling with mental health issues. I don’t know how she did it tbh.
I think it’s normal. No one is perfect and as an adult you grow in ways they never did, because you are your own person with your own life and generation. It can feel strange because they may sometimes no longer have answers to your questions, as they once did when you were a kid.
Remember to love your Ma, remember how she cherished and loved you as a child. A mother knows a special kind of love!
She was waiting for you before you met her. You grew inside her body, before you opened your eyes.
She was the warm embrace when you were still too fragile to breathe.