So I’ve had the same core friend group since college for about 8 years now. We used to be super tight like weekend hangouts, group vacations and so on. But over the last couple years, I feel like I’ve been evolving in a different direction compared to them (dont wanna sound arrogant)
Most of them are still in the same party phase like drinking heavily on weekends, making the same jokes, complaining about the same things. Meanwhile, for the past 2 years +/- I’ve been focused on personal growth stuff like reading more, started fitness, started investing a small amount each month in index funds (nothing crazy, but it’s already grown more than my savings account ever did lol).
When we hang out now, I find myself zoning out during conversations or making excuses to leave early. They’ve started making comments about how I’ve “changed” or become boring but the truth is that I just don’t find getting wasted and procrastinating fulfilling anymore.
I’ve tried suggesting different activities, but they’re not interested. The thought of me distancing makes me so sad cuz we’ve literally grown up together, but staying feels like I’m never going to be where I want to be if I continue like this.
Has anyone had a similar situation as me? It’s such a hard decision to make and I don’t have anyone to discuss this with. I’ve only shared it with my mama and she says that I need to follow what my heart tells me and my heart tells me to move on from them even though it’s going to be the hardest thing ever
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Start slow fade out of weekly hangouts, join a book club or gym class where your new interests align. Real friends either grow with you or cheer you on from afar. Nostalgia’s a hell of a drug, but it shouldn’t keep you stagnant.
It takes a lot of self-awareness and courage to recognize when you’ve outgrown a situation. Growth isn’t arrogant—it’s natural. You’re not abandoning them, just honoring where you are now. Sending strength as you navigate this shift—you’re not alone.
Yea friends come and go and it’s sad to see they aren’t changing for the best and still in the party phase. But I have several friend groups. Some in college, other that work, others that party, or very Christian groups. I hang out with all of them separately but it’s not bad to slowly distance urself. Maybe when you feel like you wanna party care free go hang out with them. Next time they ask if you want to hang out say no ur in a book club, or your reading a book for something if they wanna join, or simply have a different commitment and you can’t join them. Then probably after the 2nd rejection they won’t ask you.