Not long ago, I had everything I could want. An amazing apartment, lots of friends, training to be a type of lawyer, my health. Now, a year after being with my ex, I have lost it all and I live in a women’s shelter in a country which isn’t my own. I am so thankful for the kindness of the people who are caring for me and helping me rebuild, but it’s amazing how quickly I lost everything – including myself.
My ex speaks to me like I have popped out for some milk and won’t acknowledge that a year of horrific abuse (assessed as a 9 out of 10 for threat and danger to me) happened. They keep speaking to me like I’m going to go ‘home’ as if nothing happened. They also keep demanding to speak to all of my doctors and therapists so they can convince them I’ve lost my mind and it’s all some misunderstanding.
Yesterday they tried to tell me that the broken arm I got from them beating me is a skin condition and I should have my vitamins checked because I must me lacking in something that would prevent this ‘skin condition’ (covered in bruises, literal full handprints on me, and broken bones). It’s so weird – and I feel like I live in a world with no logic now. The really amazing thing is that some of the doctors tend to believe them, without ever speaking to me. I feel so invalid.
Comments
the gaslighting, the denial, the manipulation…it’s all tactics to keep control, and it’s not your fault that some people are too blind or complicit to see it. i’m really glad you’re in a place that’s safe now, even if it’s far from what you imagined. you’re not crazy. you’re not alone.
Stop communicating with him. For your own sake.
You need to go no contact with this person and get an order of protection. The o my way to heal from a person like this is to go no contact.
Why are you still speaking with him? No wonder he’s confused. So am I. No contact, get a job, build up your life again.
He doesn’t think there is “hope”, he thinks he can get you back under his control and abuse. Prove him wrong, stay safe far away from him. It’s gonna be hard for a while, bou can get your life back and do many wonderful things in the future.
Why do you still talk to your abuser?