I’m a lot more fun and i love myself, enjoy more when drunk / high, I’ve been doing it a lot recently but want to feel like this when I’m normal/ sober, I’m also a lot positive and a nice person over all and a really good person, also in the sense that I beat myself up less.
Ive heard a lot of stories and how people let go of their hesitations when under a substance and they show their ” true colours”. Most of it is an inhibitor right?
How do I feel like this in general and not hesitate and be more myself?
Or is it a lie and alcohol/ weed makes me something I’m not supposed to be?
Comments
Don’t have an answer for you so I apologize
But if you do let me know, im trying to get the same answers
Ive been there/still there but Ive found Transcendental mediation is helping me loads. Helps cut all the BS traumas and fears that affect how you see yourself and the world so that theres space for your authentic self to come out. It’s the closest naturally occurring source that gives me that self confidence weed provides. Recommend looking into it.
I was a total pothead pretty much since high school. Right now, I’m almost a month clean, but I realized that I want to be more than just someone who is high all the time. What is it that we are avoiding? We have to ask ourselves these difficult questions in order to improve. Granted, I’d say it’s okay to do those things occasionally if you can moderate, but for me, it seemed to be more of a problem that a solution
A drunk person will generally stop restricting themselves to do what they want. I would pose the question, then: What’s usually stopping you from being who you want to be, and why?
This is usually something that takes a lot of motivated therapy.
well that is not u being funny, openminded etc,
thats the substance ;^)
it often happens that people try to become the person they always wanted to be…by (ab)using.
u see a lot of addicts falling in love with theirselves on the substance ^
Learn how not to care about anything /anyone
You have to learn to live life sober, experience the same things but sober. When I stopped drinking 8 years ago I went “well I guess I’ll never have fun again” because it was all I knew and how I associated “fun”. You will have to relearn a lot. Especially if it’s all you know.
I realized I didn’t know who I was at all. Alcohol had covered everything up for me, even when I wasn’t actually drinking, I had no idea who I was, what I liked, what I was capable of. Stopping drinking meant I now experience fun and every emotional genuinely , which honestly, is way better.
I appreciate great moments, because I am totally present for it, and it means more now. My enjoyment is worth more now.
And for what it’s worth, it’s much more liberating to do things sober, traveling alone, going to a concert solo, sex. It’s so much more empowering and allows me to be completely uninhibited. I am finally me.
I use to be like this when I drank from aged 20-22. Looking back that’s how I knew I was DEEP into my addiction
But it was a strange existential like feeling for me at the time. All the while I WAS’NT actually myself…
Well.
If your normal is being high or drunk, thats why sober feels boring. Try being sober for extended time and see if your idea of liking youself changes.
Also I know some folks who have believed that and trust me other ppl around them would categorize it as “fun.”
Nobody would pay for alcohol or put up with its disgusting taste and smell if you could imitate its effects without it.
What’s stopping you from loving yourself and not beating yourself up when you are sober?
Who do you consider your true self?
When sober, you may be more inhibited, shaped by societal expectations and self-judgment. This is the persona, the social mask we wear to fit into society.
When intoxicated, you feel freer, more expressive, less self-critical. This could be because alcohol and weed suppress the ego’s control mechanisms, allowing deeper parts of your psyche to emerge.
I wouldn’t say that intoxication reveals your “true self” but rather a part of yourself that is usually repressed. The goal, then, is to integrate this freer, more confident self into your sober life
You have to figure out what you’re hiding from or what trauma you don’t want to face when you’re sober. You probably don’t feel judged or don’t care about what others think when you’re under the influence vs how you are sober. I wish you the best and I hope you find happiness. Maybe try energy work. It really helped me.
The drunk person is who you’d like to be. The sober person is who you actually are. Sorry you will need to learn to love sober you
Okay but that’s not yourself, that’s a chemically altered version of yourself. I get what your saying, but that “you” isn’t you. It’s the booze, or the drugs.
It’s normal I think amongst users of alcohol or drugs to prefer themselves when they’re in an altered state but I promise you (from experience) that others do not prefer you this way.
You might have anxiety and/or depression and be self medicating. It’s very common that people with affective disorders unintentionally end up self medicating because they don’t necessarily realize they are feeling badly, but feel a decrease in discomfort when drinking/smoking. Do you have a mental health team? If not, I might check in with a therapist and see what they think. They may be able to point you towards a healthier alternative. And I will warn you that if you are feeling like you are a better version of yourself when using, you might want to lay off for a little. It’s a slippery slope to dependence and eventually addiction. Stay safe.
As an addict in recovery, I would say, for me at least, it was about accepting that I couldn’t expect to act the way I could on substances while being sober. We take drugs for a reason. To do something our brains won’t do on their own. So you may have more success understanding that it’s ok to feel a little inhibited, shy, anxious, whatever.
Outside of that, you can try and address the emotional needs that push you to get high or drunk in the first place. Maybe some therapy or working on yourself could help address that.
Meditation!!!
I am actively working on while sober letting myself get to the relaxed state drinking puts me in almost immediately. You really have to have an honest conversation with yourself about what inhibitions the substance is lowering. I have to choose to not have the self conscious thoughts when I’m sober and reinforce feelings of being safe and in flow. Because insecurity is what alcohol makes me “forget” and this is really a practice at this point. Good luck to you- you can do it!
Go a few weeks sober.. there is an ever truer/happier version of you hiding below all of the masks of substances.
Start by finding moderation. Smoke and drink just a little less every day. Go a day or two without, then don’t over indulge when you do use. Those things only satisfy you for a fleeting moment. If you can quit relying on external things to bring you comfort and peace you have mastered life.
I found that while I thought I was my best self when drunk., others found me obnoxious careless and suicidal. When I am drunk, I think I am connecting with others on a deeper level but I missed the nuisances of the conversations. Most of the time they were just humoring me to keep me from flipping out or doing reckless and stupid crap.
Sobering up is a high in itself
Therapy, friend. Substances often quiet the noise in the mind that makes us defensive, anxious, frustrated, angry, etc. By switching off the noise that makes us low-level unhappy and not fun to be around, life suddenly seems easier. But because that’s all still there when you’re sober means it’s not really anything more than a temporary fix. The way to quiet that noise without is to face is squarely. Why do I feel this way? Why am I anxious, angry, et al.?
You’re going to need to sit with that discomfort, explore it without judgement, and learn how to forgive and heal. That’s how you feel as good about life sober: by facing the shadows the substances mask.
It’s hard work. That’s why it’s best to do it with a buddy, a professional who understands you and your goals who provides a framework, direction, and support.
It’s just disinhibition combined with relaxation.
How’s your stress?
Alcohol and other substances usually make you feel in a higher state than your current one. But if you want to feel empowered and confident without those substances, the best way is starting to love yourself. Accept yourself the way you are because you’re just perfect the way you are! I used to care too much what other people would say or do, and alcohol would help me free those emotions at the beginning. But when I realized that I needed to start loving and accepting myself for real, things started improving for me and now I feel goog and happy with myself all the time. I’ve shared my learnings and experiences in a video on my self development YT Channel. It’ll definitely motivate you and give you another perspective 🥰 https://youtu.be/H9bwLXwd7ZE
Stop giving a shit about what people think and just take advantage of life while you have it.
Jekyll and Hyde, apt story.
I just play the role of the person I am when drunk, only when sober. I don’t feel nearly as good or comfortable, and I’m not as good at it, so I do mostly drink in social situations. But we all need social contact, no real choice.
When you’re under substance, it doesn’t just lower inhibitions.
It lowers fears and pain. So people drop their ego, and become more of how they truly are. Without trying to protect themselves every second, self-consciously evaluating how they appear, in front of others – to avoid getting hurt. Because for our minds, emotional pain is the same as physical danger. It can see threat in places, where we don’t even think it’s there.
The way you feel like yourself without alcohol or weed or any other drug, is by undoing the old programming – the meaning you assign to something when you were 4-7 years old – where mind, without knowing time, keeps running on the same patterns.
There’s nothing wrong with you, but if you interpreted a spider being dangerous, because you saw spiders take over the world movie at 5 – and now always feel anxiety when you see one, it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you, or it’s who you are. It means that now, when you’re 20 you would like to think different, and you clearly know… not all of them are bad, but you assigned meaning long time ago – and now you can’t just change how you feel through sheer will or any outside work.
But if you addressed the old subconscious pattern running, and no longer seen it the same way – the anxiety, negative through’s, need to avoid things, would no longer be there. Even if you seen the movie, even if you are the way you are.
There’s nothing wrong or broken about people. Most just don’t know how subconscious mind gets programmed, and then 97% of automatic emotions and thoughts keep running and influencing 3% of decisions, choices and control we have. (essentially controlling us 100%, and giving us an illusion of control).
Address your r/limitingbeliefs and you can do anything or be anyway you want. Without an ego, an image to protect, invisible fears of appearing wrong or bad, or making mistakes, or getting seen by people in a bad way. And you can speak publicly, become fearless and achieve your highest goals, faster than you thought possible.
*Until our old subconscious programs change, only the circumstances outside keep changing. And we grow with them, on a destined path.
I can assimilate in some way, shape or form. It went from a social binder to a full blown constraint on the person I really am. Which the only way ive come to deal with..was starting to work on issues, Im confidentially self-aware of whilst recognising other patterns or traits of me that are attached to that feeling.
For instance, I used too smoke heavily with people I considered family, so much so..that when I wasnt with them and smoking, id feel aanxuous, without their company. And by doing that I realised damn..theres a level of anxiety, fomo, loneliness..theres 3 initial traits or patterns I recognised that I need to work on right their..
I’d try to identify the patterns and traits that make you feel like your not yoirself without drugs and alchahol.
Learn how to meditate. Sam Harris – Waking Up app
You just stop giving a shit about what other people might think, similar to how you don’t give a shit about their opinions when you’re drunk. Takes practice but it’s entirely possible.
The “you” that comes out when you drink or smoke is, indeed, YOU. The substances just encourage it to come out. Find other ways to bring this out. For me journaling and mindfulness let me go of bits of shame I had internalised. Being happy in my present self means I don’t have to drink to encourage that person to come out.
You are limiting yourself with societal pressures while sober. “what do others think about me? how do others see me when I move like this or laugh like this?” You arent allowing you to be yourself while sober. This is where the misery comes from and we get a glimpse of what we could be while drunk.
While drunk on a substance we enter a space in our mind unoccupied by these limiting factors. It just means you need to work on your validation framework while sober. It can mean changing habits or changing friend groups. You need to ask yourself what factor is controlling you that is not controlling you while shitfaced.
You are giving external sources keys to your happiness. We do that to ourselves. It can be done but you have to want to do it.
it’s not that you are more yourself, substances allow you to push down the stresses of your life thus you can be “more yourself” not dealing with that burden. coming from someone who drank for years and smoked weed for years this is NOT healthy and will only prolong, and exacerbate your issues. By doing this you are not getting rid of anything, in fact you are making yourself more ill equipped to deal with it, because it is NOT gone and it will come back stronger due to years of pushing it down (think about a dam being released). From experience you need to quit NOW and work through it not matter how hard it is. Thankfully I met the Lord and he has helped me immensely (quit drinking 4+ months ago, quit weed for the past two weeks and never plan on returning) but my life right now is a whirlwind of anxiety, mood swings, memory loss due to stress etc. I have broken down emotionally at work several times over the last month, one time of which I had to go home because I could not control my own emotions. Drugs also suppress your brains natural ability to combat stress by secreting hormones, so not only will you have to eventually deal with a bunch of backlogged issues, it will seem as if you can’t bear to deal with it. The longer you do this the worse it will get. Christ is my answer, although at times I let my earthly mind take over and it can be truly unbearable. With time I see it getting progressively better. Take control and jump in, it’ll be a rough rough ride at first but it will be far worth it. Don’t let yourself talk yourself into doing it, saying “i’m in control, i’ll do it tomorrow” – it will be 5-10 years of “i’ll do it tomorrow” meanwhile you WILL find an excuse to do it again. Do not make the same mistakes as I did
you probably have some sort of dopamine deficiency or gaba deficiency which alcohol is correcting. get bloodwork done, find out anything you might be deficient is and begin supplementing/making lifestyle changes. you can take it even a step further and get geentic testing done to see if you have a higher requirement than the average person for certain vitamins and mineral. i did this and found out i need more vitamin d, iodine, and copper and let me tell you the difference in my mood and overrall cognition and feeliong like “myself” has improved night and day. if you smoke weed, drink too often, or smoke cigarettes you should probably cut back on that as well as thats bad for your brain. also exercise is great for dopamine and pleasureful sensations. focus on your brain
I was sober over 21 years and I had to admit I had moments of happiness, but it wasn’t on good times. Being empathetic makes it 10 times worse. Because you feel what they feel and an empathetic person picks up more on people with negative feelings and emotions and those with positive by drinking and getting high it turns off that ability that drive allowing us to forget about it and enjoy . so I understand your pain, as I do suffer the same thing. I just have to find that right balance i’m not up life but yet not fucking up me and I don’t know if there is that special spot place I hope so but I’m still looking.
Just remember, life has its ups and downs, but whatever happens don’t let these inhibitors control your life. Take care of yourself and have fun. 🙂
i have OCD, and i feel like when im Drunk alot of it just shuts up. And yea ive definetely told myself “why cant i think like this when im sober”. But getting sober has taught me that my body relied on those substances to feel normal. And you overtime will learn moderation and how to be happy sober. You’ll probably find replacments like food or vaping (me). But you will eventually balance out and find healthy alternatives like music, sports, exercise, good balanced foods, treats, going to events, hanging with friends/family, etc. Youll still deal with cravings, but you can easily distract yourself. Im only 26 days sober today but i smoke CBD and vape. And i plan on putting one of those down next. Addiction SUCKS ASS but you will find the light eventually
Hot take, but I’ve felt the same way my whole life…because I’ve always felt alien, different…out of place. Alcohol shushed those parts of my brain and I came to the conclusion that I didn’t like sober me… now here I am…turns out I’m Autistic and have ADHD. (Absolutely not saying that HAS to be the case for you, just sharing my experience. Self reflection is huge…and now that I understand myself, my hurdles, and why I felt different… I’m able to stay sober.)
I think it is a shared experience with those dependent on weed and alcohol. We have that inner fear that we are only fun and can have fun while inebriated. But 10 months sober I can honestly say that I much more enjoy the simpler things in life now, and have a heck of a lot more fun. And I feel more like myself than ever before. I’m not gazing through a mask of my own making. And no hangovers! No hangovers is very nice.
I feel the same way sometimes. Like whenever I’m in a rut and I feel like I don’t want to do anything, some alcohol or weed resets my brain and gives me motivation. I approach these substances like tools and don’t let them control me.
This thought will make you become dependent, I had these thoughts myself when I smoked marijuana and then it became something I couldn’t see myself without.
Today marks 1 week and 1 day since I’ve been clean
It means you have low self esteem. Need to work on confidence more
For me and my experience l would say it all comes down to your emotional state. Most times we live in a society that overvalues things that seem out of reach. Self esteem and confidence won’t always come natural but guess what? You can always work around it.
Learn to be alone and start imagining positive stuff.
I would also recommend reading books as they can keep you good company and soften your solitude.
It’s called addiction. It’s not the booze it’s you. I am the same.
Start training spiritually! When you are high and drunk you access your higher chakras, and disassociate from the trauma that’s stored in your lower chakras – sober we can feel all our limiting beliefs and restrictions – high / drunk – those beliefs become completely irrelevant
Argh I feel this so hard, I’m so chatty and confident when I’m a bit drunk and I wish I could be like that all the time. I’ve occasionally met people and then met them again while sober and I can kind of feel their disappointment that I’m not the same haha