First, I would like to say that english is not my first language, so I apologize for any grammatical errors ahead. So here it goes… I (19F) and my boyfriend (19M) have been together for 1 year and 7 months. We’ve known each other since we were 17 because we were classmates.
The first few months of our relationship was really nice. Typical high school relationship, love notes, going to school together and dropping me off after school. I wouldn’t say it was perfect, because we were (still are i guess) immature, had a few episodes of being mentally unstable which led us to have arguments in the past but we have managed to resolve.
Now in college, we don’t usually see each other that much. Maybe twice a week to twice a month, depending on the availability of our schedule. My problem is that, lately, I’ve been noticing that our relationship has become quite mundane. We don’t talk that much anymore about anything that interests us. When we’re together, we also don’t talk much, we always opt to play some thing in my tablet, watch movies, but we don’t really talk a lot. I feel like I could easily count the number of words that we’ve exchanged everytime we’re together now. It feels as if we don’t really connect anymore.
It kind of makes me sad because obviously I don’t want to lose our relationship, and I really want to have our relationship that spark again. I generally just want us to feel fulfilled in the relationship, but I’m kind of lost on what to do.
I know we’re both young and that maybe this is just a phase in our relationship, but I really want to make him happier. I just need some advice or tips, most especially from those people who’ve experienced the same thing on how to make our relationship more exciting and have it’s spark back.
TLDR; My boyfriend and I’s relationship is starting to lose it’s spark. What can I do to make our relationship exciting again?
Comments
I’ve been married for 5 years, me and my wife have been together for 7. There was a year where we worked opposites shifts, she was working 9-5 and I was working 11pm to 7am, it was a big ball of suck. not only that, but I had to keep the backshift sleep schedule during the weekends to be able to keep up with the work, also a big ball of suck.
Basically, we never saw one another for most of that year, we basically high fived each other while we passed at the front door while I was coming home from work and she was leaving for work. We almost never got to talk, and when we had some time to do stuff we never had the energy (me especially, because of the back shift).
Yea, it felt like the spark was gone at times, but after a little while, what replaced it was a feeling of security, that even when things were that bad we weren’t going to lose one another. You are young, so you may not have adjusted your world view from “life should be exciting and fun” to “life needs to be stable with enough peace for me not to go crazy”, but maybe try taking a look at the stability of your relationship, see if you still have that.