I feel so disgusted by sex, but I dont want to be, what do I do?

I (22F) don’t know what to do, over the past couple years, I’ve felt more and more disgusted by the idea of all things sexual related, and it’s kind of ruining my life a little bit. I SO desperately want to be a person who is sexual and is able to naturally enjoy being sexual/have natural sexual urges but I realize that my libido is just kinda non-existent. Like- I WANT to be sexual but I almost cant, and when I think about it too hard I get grossed out. And especially over these past two years I’ve noticed myself cringe and feel a blatant aversion not just of my own sexual experiences or desires, but of everyone’s. For background, I did not grow up catholic/religious and wasn’t shamed for any type of sexual urges so there’s no subconscious guilt/shame factor to these feelings at least not that I’m aware of. I think my feelings more stem from an overall anger towards the way that sex has become so accessible and so normalized in todays society that people nearly act entitled to it. i’ve read countless stories of women getting raped repeatedly in life OR in death, stories about father’s molesting their own children, of spouses cheating all the time, of people being so addicted to porn they can’t have sex anymore with their partners, seeing whole entire forum’s dedicated to things that people would stick their dick in… It makes me feel completely disgusted by everything and makes everything feel so perverse in nature. I don’t know what to do about this because sometimes I feel jealous and insecure about the fact that I’m not naturally seductive or sexual the way that some people are. I struggle with wanting to be desirable, but also feeling disgusted at people whenever they desire me or other people. I don’t think I’m asexual, because I do enjoy having sex and have always enjoyed it, but my libido is completely shot now and im growing resentful to the idea of lust in itself and I just don’t know what to do. it’s starting to drive me insane. I have a partner who has an extremely high libido, coupled with the fact that he recently started hormone treatment, which is known to cause a spike in sexual urges. I on the other hand, have an extremely low libido. I’ve caught him multiple times watching graphic porn of other people, and I can’t help but feel disgusted by him. I’ve talked about this with him and we’ve had lengthy conversations about it and he does understand, but it just makes me feel like I need to be more desirable and sexual in order to appease my partner. I don’t like feeling like that. To clarify, he has never asked, or even insinuated that I need to be more sexual with him, but even so just everything about sex has just started to make my skin crawl. I want to be desired- but I dont want him to desire me. It’s all so god damn confusing. I’m starting to seriously view all things sexual as evil in my brain because i just think about how many bad things people have done in the name of sex. Someone help meeee 😭😭😭😭

Edit: I also forgot to mention I am queer! so my relationship with sex is a bit different than just a man/woman having sex lol. + I have this really odd thing where sometimes I will watch the type of homemade porn that my partner does and wish I was like those people- like some weird fascination that people are just… like that? i almost wish i could be hypersexual, willing to do whatever and post it anywhere and feel so comfortable with themselves that they just do that. but I’m not like that. and i think a tiny part of me wishes I was. But i just cant get over my disgust and aversion and i feel so lost. everything seems to contradict in my head and i feel like im the only one who feels like this. i feel insane