I feel stupid for being hung-up over a two week connection

Ok, hear me out. I know it was only two weeks, but I’ve never felt a spark like this with anyone else. This guy matched me in ways no one ever has—our humor, music, views, interests, everything. I met him through a mutual friend, and at first, it felt perfect. The only issue was how intense he came in. I usually take my time, but since our friend vouched for him, I let myself ignore my instinct.

He’d just come out of a 3-year relationship that ended six months ago—his ex broke up with him over text. I thought, okay, he might still be healing, but let me give it a shot. We clicked. We talked. He flirted. We finally met in person, and the first date was amazing—it felt like we’d known each other forever.

But… he talked about himself nonstop. My friend said he was probably just nervous, and before meeting he did ask questions about me. But after that, everything was about him. A few days later, we spent the whole day together and ended up sleeping together. That’s when things shifted.

The next morning, I kissed him, and he just looked at me blankly. I pulled away, and he got dressed and left without saying anything—just kissed me on his way out. After that, his texts became detached. I didn’t react at first, but the next day I ignored his texts, and he responded saying he was having financial issues. I said I understood, but asked him to communicate better.

We mainly texted because he lived an hour away and sometimes worked for weeks straight. I was okay with that. But his texts were still mostly about him—his job, his hobbies, his day, his struggles. I knew everything about him. He barely asked about me, aside from a “how are you?” here and there.

Then I left for an academic conference. We were still texting until one day I asked why he didn’t seem curious about me. He apologized and said he was stressed and his past relationship was still affecting him. I said I understood, but I needed to know what his intentions were. He said he wasn’t ready for an emotional connection but “if we fall in love, I’d be okay with that.” I asked why he started this if he wasn’t ready, and he said “I guess I just don’t want to rush.”

Fine. But the next day he was even more distant. I was stressed out, away from home, and my father was fatally ill overseas. I asked him about our plans for a date the next day, and he responded vaguely, saying we’d go on a walk but “he wouldn’t stay over.” We had been planning to hang out, play games, and chill, but now he was putting up emotional (and physical) boundaries. I asked him for a time—he ignored me. Then he ignored my messages altogether but still sent me messages about his day on IG like nothing was happening.

That night I was overwhelmed. I sent him a message, saying I was trying to get to know him, support him, and show up, even with my own stresses. And that I didn’t deserve to pay the price for what his ex did to him. The next day he ended things. Just like that. Coldly. “I don’t think we should pursue a relationship. You deserve someone who can support you.”

That wasn’t even what I was asking for. I was just asking for basic connection and respect.

I tried to be understanding, but he kept ignoring me. Eventually, I apologized for getting overwhelmed. He said we should move on. I said okay, but if he ever wanted to stay friends, I’d be open to it. He ignored that, too.

Two weeks later, I returned a book he lent me through our mutual friend and messaged him just wishing him well.

He ignored that too.

But he still follows me on Instagram. He’s always one of the first to watch my stories. And it bothers me so much. I want to block him, but I’m so hung up. Why did something so short affect me this deeply?