I (teen) found my dad’s grindr account on his phone where he’s been texting multiple men. He’s been married for almost 2 decades and has one child (me). I found that he’s been sleeping with other men for the past new years and has known hes gay (not even bi) since college. (dont ask how i found out 💀). What do i do? Do i keep it a secret that i know? Can’t exactly just bring it up.
I found out my dad is a closeted homosexual
r/Advice
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You should confront him because he is putting his wife at risk for STDs, etc. Tell him that either he tells her, or you will (and do it).
STDs often show no symptoms in women. HPV can cause uterine cancer. Herpes and HIV are not curable. HIV can morph to AIDS and kill. She needs to get tested asap.
Sorry you are dealing with this.
You didn’t snoop for drama the truth tripped and fell into your lap, and now you’re stuck balancing loyalty with a secret that could shatter your family
The only way to know what is known and what is, is by having the conversations…
It will be take some courage to do so. But be sure to do so in an open and nonjudgmental way.
In my mind it could go a few ways…
But if you seek freedom from this secret the only thing to do is not let it be a secret.
if your mom left recently as you said in your other comment, i wouldn’t really obligate yourself to tell her. besides that, it’s sticky being a kid and getting between your parents like that.
is this something you feel compelled to talk to your dad about and ask questions? or just something you’d rather pretend never happened?
as a gay man i can tell you this is very common, a lot of us have children, ex wives, and still love our children and families immensely, even if pressure to come out later made us change course later in life.
Being gay Is not bad but cheating on his wife Is unless Is a lavender marriage. Try to talk to him and if he Is indeed unloyal tell your mother.
i’m asking the question you don’t want to be asked… so story time ! how did you find out ?
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Your mom may have aids.
There’s no right answer here.
It depends what kind of resolution you want. Do you want to know why? Talk to your Dad. Are you worried about your mom? Talk to your Mom; the odds are good she already knows. Do you just want to feel angry? Talk to your friends. There’s no reason to believe your Dad is anyone different now than who he’s been for years. An affair isn’t about you. When you’re talking about swapping teams, the affair probably isn’t even about your Mom. It’s about your Dad. If you want to make sure he’s using condoms and not keeping secrets from your mom, just talk with him. Privately.
Just don’t be an ass about it.
He likes asses.
Number one, if you were snooping on your dad’s phone, stop it. Even parents deserve some privacy. If it was an accident, don’t do it again. People snooping or eavesdropping rarely learn something good.
Is there a reason you would want your dad to know you know? If he wanted you to know, likely he would have told you already. Personally? I’d let it go for now, anyway. He’s still your dad.
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