Mine is just normal, 17’9cm, lost my virginity when I was 23 and have been in a relationship since that time with the same woman, now I am 31 and in 4 months will be 32.
I think that I just love being with her because I never had any other girl in my life and I am comfortable sharing my life with her, we do s*x maybe once every 2-3 months because it isn’t funny at all, just 10 minutes maybe where I have to do pretty much everything so I keep it straight to some kisses while touching her n*pples and then PIV s*x until I finish.
Back to the title, when a post of someone with small d*ck pops up, it gets full of comments of how women enjoy much more other kind of plays, using toys, or even guys who have mastered their finger/tongue skills than just PIV s*x.
My girlfriend doesn’t enjoy much, doesn’t want to try toys, and I don’t enjoy much using my tongue but I don’t know the reason, because to be honest I would really love to learn but it seems like I can’t.
It’s been almost 10 years with her and I don’t feel like breaking up but I have the feeling that I’m missing of the best things that we have as humans and it will remain like that if I’m with her, but thinking about the possibility of breaking up scares me a lot since I don’t even know if I will be able to find a compatible woman with me or woman that would just let me learn/teach me how to enjoy s*x.
Anyway, just wanted to get it off my chest.
Comments
Hi ! Have you ever tried asking her what does she want to experiment instead of directly suggesting things ??
Having sex more than once every few months would be a good start
not married, no kids, and she isnt fulfilling your needs?
you have nothing tying you to her. cut yourself free. life is too short
You should really consider whether or not you have any reason to stay with this woman other than you’re afraid you won’t find anyone else. Because you absolutely can find someone else, you’re pretty young.
Once every 2-3 months isn’t very often at all. It sounds like you should have a conversation about what would make things more enjoyable for you both, and hopefully you can be on the same page. And if not, you’re still young and there’s likely someone out there you’re more sexually compatible with.
Also – this isn’t Meta, you can say “dick,” “sex” and “nipples” without getting Zucked.
18cm is not average lol!
17.9 cm? Normal? Jesus Christ…..
same here in a way — not the exact situation, but i’ve definitely felt that mix of comfort and quiet resentment in a long relationship. sometimes we stay because it’s familiar, not because it’s fulfilling. sex should be something you both enjoy, not just something that happens out of routine. it’s not about size or skill — it’s about connection, curiosity, and communication. if y’all can’t talk openly about what you want and need, that’s where the real disconnect is.
The only thing that attaches u to her is sex, and that also is not an enjoyable thing to u doing it the same way over and over again. Things should be spicy frop time to time so that dullness won’t be installed. Try talk with her about this and see if she has some suggestions u can both do to spice up your sex life, u can also make suggestions and see what new things u both may want to try in the bedroom. If she’s not open to put in some effort to improve things, then u have 2 choices : 1/ stay in this relationship and forget about trying new things sexually (+less frequent make outs). 2/ have the courage to break up with her and look for another woman who is more open to try new things with u (there are many apps to meet new ppl and for sure there is one more compatible with u out there). Weigh the 2 options and see which one suits u the most. Living a boring and less frequent sexual life vs prioritizing your happiness and fullfilment. The choice is yours.
You dont have to censor the word sex man
Nothing about this adds up? You didn’t provide any context to the title.
You say you wanna learn how to give head to your girl. You’re on the internet it can teach you A LOT. I’ve learned things on the internet that I use on my wife and she LOVES them. Also some people are sexually compatable, and that’s okay too.
That’s well above normal
Bro after 10 years and you arent married.. Just saying this is red flag either you are wanting to be with her forever or?
You need a new GF
Sex isn’t the best thing in a relationship. There’s so much more you may have rather than what society tells you is necessary. You’re not missing out on much. Fast forward a few years and you’d realize you miss the reasons you’re together in the first place. On you death bed, you’re not going to reflect back on the great Alex you had. You’ll reflect on children, supporting one another, little moments like laughs and smiles. If this is a serious life-long relationship.
On the other hand, you need to realize this is the case so you’re not always wondering “what if”. Talk it out as someone suggested or decide how important sex really is to you. You can find 1,000 girls to have sexual with but but not many you truly connect with.
You can say sex, dick, and nipples on the internet. This is not tik tok
Sounds like hell
Man why are you self-censoring “dick” and “sex” you’re 31 years old 😭
Are you measuring from the pelvic bone or from the balls to the tip of the penis? 😂😂😂
TL; DR: I have a big dick and I’m sad because I give bad head
It sounds like you are the one that needs to shake things up. The using your tongue thing is a big part of sex. If you’re willing to learn, why don’t you ask if you can go down on her? That is basically what the people tend to mean when they say on these small penis posts that there are other things you can get good at. If you aren’t as willing as you think you are, sounds like it will probably remain boring
Sounds like y’all might not be sexually compatible. You should really try talking to her about it.
You guys need to have a serious conversation about sexual satisfaction and needs. If it’s not important to her and it is to you, then you are incompatible. Drastic differences on what constitutes a fulfilling sex life is not something you can reasonably compromise on.
Do toy know what turns her on? Is she even into sex? Have you tried focusing on her a bit more and getting her to orgasm? 10 minutes isn’t long enough for many women to even get aroused, let alone orgasm.
AI
17.9 cm is 7″ and well above most men’s 5.5″ 13.9 cm. If you aren’t having sex far more often than once every 2-3 months, something is far more wrong with your marriage than your penis size.
Frankly mate, this is pathetic.
You wish your penis was smaller because your sex is bad. That’s mental.
Your sex sounds dreadful. Every two or three months, you guys have ten minutes where you kiss her body a bit and go straight to PIV? Lord in heaven.
You wanna know the secret trick? The one simple thing the sex gurus won’t tell you? The ones that the Andrew Tates and the other red pill fuckos never figure out?
Just ask. Literally just ask. Have a conversation with your girlfriend. Say that you would like to improve your sex life together, and you want to know what she’d be interested in. You’re 32 years old, and you’re asking Reddit how to bang your wife before asking her. Do you not see a problem with that?
Women are far more about set, setting, and connection than men. When having sex with a woman, it’s important to set the mood. You don’t want to seem robotic. It’s supposed to be fluid, passionate. All people are instruments that we can learn to play. With a man, in my experience, it often tends to be “achievement-based”. Verbal affirmation of how good it feels, how big they are, grand displays of servicing etc etc.
A fellow pan friend of mine once said: Banging a man, you want him to feel like a sultan, banging a woman, you want her to feel like a goddess.
She should be the only person in the world to you in that moment. She should FEEL like she’s driving you into a frenzy, while still obviously feeling safe in the intense vulnerability. When you have sex with a woman, affirm that frenzy. Verbal affirmations of how attractive THEY are, how amazing they are. I tend to moan slightly louder when with women. Learn her erogenuous zones, work up to nipple play and fingering and the like. Brush her calves and thighs and forearms. Appreciate ALL OF HER. Safety is very important. Don’t make her feel fragile, but check if she’s ok. A sharp intake of breath can be from pleasure or pain, and it’s important to always check.
Head isn’t that hard. Neither is fingering. First, start by kissing her. Lightly kiss your way down from her mouth down past her stomach. Breath lightly on her vagina and then lightly lick the outer folds, from bottom to top, slowly. Aim to locate the clitoris during these long slow licks, and linger slightly on that.
Watch her during this. From this point on, most other advice is situational. Her reactions should be indicating what she’s enjoying and what she’s not. Cunnilingus changes from person to person. What I would always advise
In regards to fingering, after you’ve sufficiently prepared via Cunnilingus, you want to slowly insert the tip of your pointer finger into her vagina. Once you’ve got to roughly the middle knuckle, you want to curl your finger slightly. The tip of your finger should be resting against the top of her vaginal walls. Slowly rub a very small circle against her walls.
If she responds well to this, slowly drag your finger out while maintaining eye contact if pssoible, and maintaining light pressure on her upper vaginal walls. This’ll help you gauge how wet/tight she is (and therefore whether or not to ask for a second finger) and also let you know how she’s responding to the stimulation of your fingers.
Listen to her breaths. Watch her twitches.
Also, man, put in some damn effort. SHOW her that you want to spice up your sex life. Buy some candles, or some incense. Rose petals on the bed. Don’t do it every time, but make her feel special.
Mood matters a lot with sex. It feels like currently you guys are just doing it to do it. Why don’t you guys do something exciting? I notice you live in Tokyo. Why don’t you go to a jazz bar, or something similar? Sexy, dimly lit, flirty conversation while the music plays. Couple of drinks, some food perhaps, then book a cab home. Does she have a piece of lingerie that particularly turns you on? If you ask for a specific piece of lingerie as her long term partner, it shows you’re paying attention to her. It shows that you appreciate her as sexy.
So yeah. Ask her. Ask what turns her on, check while you’re doing it to make sure you’re doing well. Worst case? She says that she wants to go poly or something, and if you’re not down with that then cut the cord.
Right now, you’re having the most disappointing sex around. It’s not that fucking hard to change that. You’re acting like this is your gf being stubborn, but I don’t believe you.
If you’re sexually incompatible, break up. If you’re just fucking lazy, do better.
Either way, asking Reddit on how to have sex with your partner of nearly ten years is laughable.
Have some sense what you are trying to say man