I tend to get overly irritated when my mom speaks. Not when my dad does, not my brother, my friends don’t make me irritated etc. I am generally a calm person but always get surprised at my lingering anger towards her. It feels as if I have a weight tickling and burning in my stomach when she is speaking (if that makes sense). And I feel so guilty for it. I have always blamed my hormones after becoming a teenager (around 12) but as I grow older it won’t go away. I have even apologised to her several times regarding it crying. And I’m embarrassed about it being like this. Will it go away with time? Am I doing something wrong? Is there a reason why I may get so irritated? And how can I get rid of this lingering irritation..
A little info: I am 17 year old girl, and my mother is almost 50. I have grown up as a swimmer like my mother did. My mother has been generally loving giving me gifts when I succeed (like competitions). But she travels a lot because of work. I am the oldest sibling/ cousin in the family. Our family is really close (extended as well). My mom is generally a very loveable person, and has a lot of friends. She is a leader in a company and works as a HR. She is very affectionate but I tend to push her away, and it makes me so sad.
(TL;DR: I get irritated when my mother speaks and I want to understand more about why I get so angry.)