I (19F) don’t know why this happens but once I get comfortable with someone I hang out with them often but then I will start either getting bored of it or easily irritated by everything they do. Usually it happens more with people who start liking me but I don’t reciprocate which causes me to start judging them for everything they do, and subconsciously I convince myself to dislike them. I used to think it was just internalized hatred for men (from past experiences) but I realized I also did the same with women whom never had feelings for me. It seems like I get bored of a friendship and sometimes instead of distancing myself I also try and justify doing so by hating them. It’s the same pattern in relationships too. None of my relationships have lasted longer than a couple months because I start distancing myself or I realize I don’t like them as much as I thought I did, or never did at all. It made me think I was asexual and a horrible person for playing with people. What does this all mean? Is there an explanation for this behavior?
TL; DR I get sick of friendships/relationships and I don’t know why