I 21M wouldn’t consider this dating advice since im not even in a relationship, but this issue has been driving me nuts and I don’t know why I do what I do.
Growing up I’ve had had more female friends than guy friends. I’ve also had a stupid numerous talking stages but never went with any of them. I have a issue with leading people on, and it’s not that I’m playing them or wasting time no I be genuinely genuinely interested in them and then suddenly I pull away I almost shut off in a way where I just lose all interest and connection. It’s happened to multiple girls I’ve genuinely cared about and I’ve never felt more shittier in my life bc they were amazing people and I hate that I’m this way bc I’ve hurt people in the process and feel like I’ll never have a true relationship in my life moving on forward. The last time I’ve had the most actual love intense relationship was with my first love which was over 4-5 years ago. Ever since then nothing I had after that felt as real. What’s driving me nuts is how I manage to just shut off out of nowhere and lose feelings and interest in people like that so quick. Please any advice or thoughts would help, I’m really hating myself..
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Sounds like you might be chasing that first-love intensity and when it’s not the same, you pull back. It doesn’t mean you’re broken, just means you haven’t found the right fit yet, and maybe you need to slow things down until you’re sure.
Maybe you’re gay
Sounds like you could be dealing with avoidant attachment issues. I’m not a psychologist or even place much value in the modern psychological science available to us at the moment, but it could be something worth looking into and subsequently doing some self reflection or speaking to a therapist about.
You just sound picky. As a girl I’m the same way 😭 at least you can admit it. There’s lots of men who will go all the way and marry women they don’t even like. When we find someone we REALLY like we’ll commit but until then it’s just difficult to keep feelings for most people. You probably are just searching for that intensity you felt before, and that exists and you’ll find it again one day. But maybe for now let women know you have issues with commitment so they don’t have to waste their time if they are looking for marriage and stuff
It sounds like you like the attention and validation you get from the girls, then when you’ve got it, you pull back and look for the next one.
I’ve had this issue on a few occasions but then when I mention to my friends how much I want a relationship they bring up the time I’ve had the opportunity to 😭
I think if you have an engaged personality with people and are simultaneously picky/have high standards this can happen a lot