This has been something in my mind for so long now, I need to share it with someone.
I started masturbating with water in my shower my instinct I guess, but my mind started fabricating a “game” or fantasy in which I used to imagine I was in JAIL and my punishment was to get water squirted there and that it “hurt” so much. I fantasized that I was chained and forced to pull through it until, well… I finished.
I am not into BDSM hardcore or anything like that but it is insane to me where my mind went when I had no idea what sex was, what could be the psychology behind it? Did it perhaps leave a mark in me? It just has always been in the back of my head as a very WTF thing.