I had a very public hours long mental breakdown. Now terrified clips will surface online

r/

Had a massive break down in a major international airport two days ago after my flight was upcharged $150 for bs reasons, then boarded, then delayed, then cancelled and deboarded and rescheduled for two entire days later. Just lost my shot and became suicidal. Screaming, trying to walk into traffic—Like really, really bad. I was very out of it and was not aware of anyone filming but they easily could have been. now I’m terrified clips will surface on public freak out or something. I feel like I can’t face the people in my life if they see this. What do I do?

Comments

  1. Gammas94 Avatar

    Start a YouTube channel and monetize the videos. Profit.
    In all seriousness, the best thing you can do is ignore it. Nothing you can do and addressing it will just bring more attention. Laugh it off if someone says something and change the subject. You don’t owe anyone anything. If it shows up online, just wait it out- any attention will pass in 2-3 days tops. Even that “that motherfucker isn’t real chick” from the plane is a thing of the past and that was a rare bout of virality. And to top it off, your breakdown sounded justified (up until the walking in traffic part). You’ll be fine, and yes, it’s probably on camera.

  2. Flat-Transition-1230 Avatar

    From what I’ve seen in recent years, all you need to say is “Thats’ fake news” and huge swathes of people will believe you.

  3. peyotiti Avatar

    With all the crazy shit happening in the world, i doubt that would make a blip even if it was filmed.

    I’ve also had messy and embarrassing moments in public before while going through very hard times. The emotional hangover and regret is real, but it will dissipate. No one’s perfect. This is something you can definitely bounce back from 

  4. TGTDGD11 Avatar

    I’m sorry to hear about what you’re going through. I don’t think anyone could have filmed you. But even if they did, if you were that paranoid about it, you could look up most recent videos of the airport you were at. Whether you find something or not, why worry? The internet is so oversaturated with videos, especially really stupid ones, and many of which are far worse than what you’re describing. “Viral” videos as they call them, come and go. Think of the celebrities that have to put up with paparazzi all day. Forgive yourself of the bad experience and move on from it.

  5. Few_Leopard9761 Avatar

    Hey, first of all, I’m really sorry you had to go through that. What you experienced sounds like an intense mix of exhaustion, frustration, and emotional overload, and it doesn’t make you weak or shameful. Most people are more empathetic than we fear, and even if something does surface, it doesn’t define who you are. Focus on getting support, maybe talk to a therapist if you haven’t already, and take it one step at a time. You’re not alone, and this doesn’t have to follow you forever.

  6. jbalsjc Avatar

    That’s why, whenever I see a video of a public meltdown, I always feel bad for the person.

  7. Feral-Reindeer-696 Avatar

    There’s no point worrying about things you can’t control. I think you’ll find most people are understanding and forgiving. The fact that you are being honest with yourself now about why you did what you did is a huge step and positive sign that you’re healing. If video does show up don’t let it get to you, keep on focusing on healing.

    If you feel you need to apologize to anyone then try to take steps in that direction but it sounds like the person you hurt most was yourself. I’m glad you didn’t get hurt. Traveling is incredibly stressful and so are current financial struggles. We all have bad days so just try to learn from your mistakes and keep working on healing

  8. cheffy3369 Avatar

    Jesus Christ!

    My advice is to stop obsessing over something you can’t control and start worrying about what you can control.
    You need to focus on your mental health because clearly you have issues…

    I mean you literally became suicidal because of being inconvenienced and overly frustrated… I am not trying to be mean, but that is very unhinged behavior!

    Like I get it, that is a horribly frustrating situation to be in and I would be quite pissed off and frustrated myself, but to let something like this drive you to that point is beyond scary and concerning.

  9. Codpuppet Avatar

    Honestly you probably were saying what a lot of folks were thinking or feeling. Travel is exhausting and airports are hell, I don’t blame you. So you had a freak out. Big deal, you didn’t hurt anyone, the world keeps spinning. I’m sorry to hear you became so frustrated and upset and are now so anxious. No one is perfect, though – you can let it go!

  10. wisdom_owl123 Avatar

    Blame it on Trump…you Americans have a free get out of jail card these days

  11. TabuTM Avatar

    Let the consequences fuel change. Take personal responsibility and get help. Mental health issues are not a get-out-of-life-free card.

  12. fairylint Avatar

    I get it– I’ve had some public/widely visible meltdowns myself when I was untreated and the last one was because I was badly triggered by an aggressive asshole who wouldn’t let me use skills I learned in therapy to deescalate the situation and my emotional state (like walking away for a couple minutes to calm down so I didn’t you know, start screaming). It is embarrassing, no doubt about it, but there are a few options as to what you can do going forward. We may not be able to change what happened in the past, however we are able to change how we act in the future.

    One way that helps me is that I work with my therapist to figure out what happened to me emotionally, why it happened, and how I can change my actions for the future. I’d highly recommend searching for a therapist as it seems like there’s a lot more going on with your mental state than the airport BS– the breakdown likely came from that than the airport.

    Learning what your triggers are helps. Older men who try to intimidate me into what getting what they want triggers me, but knowing it is a trigger means that I can plan for what I need to do prevent a situation occurring. By recognizing when it may escalate into a triggering situation, I am able to get myself out of there before a problem occurs. In your situation, I would have started practicing self-care after the upcharge by grabbing myself a favorite beverage, put on calming music and start practicing breathing exercises in an out of the way spot. If I’ve already started working at specifically reducing my a slightly heightened emotional state, it becomes easier to return to a normal state than letting it continue building to a point where it becomes almost impossible to reduce the heightened emotions. There are some skills specifically for when rapidly approaching skills breakdown point (when the self care isn’t enough and you need to calm down ASAP and it is truly an emergency): https://modlab.yale.edu/sites/default/files/files/TIPPSkills1.pdf

    While it’s unlikely that it was filmed and posted to the internet based on the other comments you left (you stated that you’d already looked for videos), a good response for those you care about in your life would be “It is really embarrassing, and I’m actually ashamed to have had such a public meltdown. I’ve been thinking about the situation and how it happened, and I’ve identified some ways I can make changes for the future.” Its never enjoyable to be questioned about something that your felt was embarrassing/shameful, but I find some relief by being honest that yes it happened, and I’ve already got ideas in mind so as to not let it get so bad again. Tbh people who truly care about you will really just want to know that you’re okay, rather than judging you.

  13. SecretRush1919 Avatar

    God, I really feel for you here. It’s such an awful anxious feeling when you lose control like that. Almost like that feeling when you’ve drunk too much and don’t know what you did…but like a hundred times worse. 

    It sounds to me like you would benefit from some form of professional help, as what you describe is almost certainly a mental/emotional health red flag. There is nothing at all to be ashamed of with regards to what happened, but for your own wellbeing it might help to put safeguards in place so you are better equipped to deal with these kinds of overwhelming feelings. 

    I have schizoaffective disorder, and most of the time I am perfectly fine and able to manage. But when I can’t? Holy shit. Absolutely unhinged behaviour. The kind where I struggle to leave the house for a while after because those self conscious feelings are so intense I just want to disappear completely.

    Funny thing is though…even if people do see, most are more empathetic than you might expect. And the ones who aren’t? Their opinion means very very little. Plus one blessing of this online age we live in is it’s amazing how quickly people forget. 

    Please try to be kind to yourself. Give yourself a break. And if help is available I urge you to take it ❤️

  14. MaaikeLioncub Avatar

    How are you feeling now? Are you safe? Is this a pattern for you, something you’ve experienced before? Do you have people to speak to, both friends and/or family, and professionals?

    I’m not really well versed in how viral videos work exactly, but I would expect something like that to have been posted already by now. It’s got to be a competitive thing, trying to be the first to post a potentially viral piece of media. I also don’t think it sounds like the kind of thing that would go viral at the moment. There’s too much carcrash, trainwreck media provided by politicians as it is, people don’t need or want to see normal people in pain as much right now, I think.

  15. Tracy140 Avatar

    How are you now ? Are you getting help ??