I know it sounds like a fantasy post but I wish it was.
I was 17 in my final year of high school. She was 36, divorced, and had this strange, inappropriate sense of humor. She’d joke around with me and my friends, saying things like “We should go out for drinks sometime.” At the time, I thought she was just odd. Looking back now, I see she wasn’t joking.
One day, she offered me a private “intensive” class at her house. I showed up without books. I knew exactly what was going to happen. I instigated it I pushed for it. She had younger kids who went to the same school as me, but I wasn’t close to them. That night, she sent them to stay with their father. She cleared the house, and we slept together. It only happened once, but it felt significant.
At the time, I didn’t feel like a victim. I still don’t feel like a victim. I went willingly, and honestly, I felt like I was in control. But now, at 22, I look back and feel uncomfortable with it. I see the power imbalance, and it doesn’t sit right with me anymore. Even now, I feel strange talking to someone who’s 18. The difference in life experience and maturity feels too big for me to ignore.
Years later, I found out I wasn’t the only one. There were at least four others guys I knew. None of us knew about each other until after the fact, which makes it feel even worse. It wasn’t just a mistake it was part of a pattern.
I’m not asking for sympathy or validation. I just needed to get this off my chest. It’s something I’ll always carry with me, but I can’t keep it inside anymore.
Comments
Tbh honest bro we make decisions in the past we regret but regret won’t help what we need to do is to be ok with has happened because we can’t go back and change it but we can take it as a learning experience and understand that that doesn’t define you
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You were definitely a victim, and she’s a hideous person. If she’s still a teacher, it would be a good idea to let the school know. It could help make sure that she can’t continue to victimize minors who are in her care.
This is horrible. Teachers should never cross that line with any student.
Legally, that’s r*pe
Just because you thought it was cool and that you wanted it then doesn’t make your feelings any less valid. You were a child. Your brain is still developing right now. It was wrong. She’s a monster and the fact that you weren’t the only one shows that she is a predator. It isn’t your fault and it doesn’t make you any less of a victim because you’re a man.
I hope you are able to heal from that experience and find peace. Perhaps finding an advocate or a therapist to discuss what you would like to do with these feelings moving forward would be beneficial for you?
Peace be with you.
You banged a hot teacher i wish could do the same when i was in the school, damn
You regret your decision, but don’t antagonize her to feel better
Ypu deserve sympathy. You were a victim. She groomed you. If she is still working as a teacher she needs to be reported as chances are, she’s still doing this.
You don’t need to be a victim for her to be a manipulative pedophile. You’re an adult now, and probably disgusted with the idea of sleeping with teenagers which makes you feel differently now about how you felt about it back then because you realized you slept with an adult who wanted to sleep with children
Kinda hard to take seriously with your name
How did you find out about the others?
One of the things I’ve noticed is how over time people’s assessment of what (could be traumatic) happened to them changes. Sadly have known a bunch of teenagers that went through different sexually invasive things from groping while sleeping at a friend’s house, to peer rape, to grooming by older people like you. And all of them started with an assessment of what happened to them that wasn’t nearly as bad as the facts would make it seem, often centering their own agency and blaming themselves. But a a year or two later that started to change. Like it was possible to realize they *were* harmed and possible to be angry. Life’s a journey, it’s okay to think differently now, and even to think differently again later.