I hate being a lesbian. I love women and I’m only attracted to women but I fucking hate being one. I hate hate hate it. And it’s not because I hate being queer. I hate how annoying other lesbians can be. I hate prude other lesbian can be. I hate how judgemental other lesbians can be. I wish I was a boy. I wish I was a gay man so badly. And I’m not trans I have no desire to transition and I’m not attracted to men. The gay community seems so much more fun and free and sex positive. And being a gay man you don’t have women coming into your spaces and taking thing away from you besides straight girls coming to gay bars which is annoying. But at least you have gay bars and saunas and grindr and all this cool stuff. Women can’t have shit. We can’t have grindr. We can’t have anything. And I’m so fucking sick of it. I hate being a woman so fucking bad. I hate being a lesbian. But I am one.
Eta: I just wanna vent… can I not vent here?
Eta 2: I’m genuinely so lost am I not allowed to just vent here? Why are some of y’all getting mad😭?
Comments
I suspect this is a “grass is always greener” situation. There are plenty of catty and judgement gay men, just like there are plenty lesbian who are toxic. You only notice one because you’re in that group.
You should meet my best friend. She is bi but has said similar things before and is currently single lol she told me she would rather be single and mingle than to be in another relationship where she can’t be in control of anything or is expected to be the only adult. I’ll tell you like I told her. Don’t fret it, there are tonssss of people in the world. Just do whatever makes you happy and if others can’t vibe with your vibe, they never truly deserved to be in your circle. Start off with just finding a group of new friends that could potentially end up being more or not but with the mindset of just trying to create new positive relationships (sexual or not). Don’t try to make a relationship happen if you’re crushing but don’t just try to hook up either. Get to know the people you meet and go with the flow of life ♥️
being a gay man isn’t all that fun either.
women most definitely come into gay bars because they like the atmosphere and/or feel safe in queer spaces like that. a lot of other gay men have noticed a lot more women in gay bars. as for saunas i’ve yet to see in america.
secondly, gay men can be “free and sex positive” but not all of us are. behind that are so many layers of hyper sexuality, shallowness, and other -ism(s) that can be extremely disheartening. i could even debate you on how toxic gay men could be but that wouldn’t be fair to you and you’re experiences being lesbian
It’s the people you’re surrounding yourself with. I’m a lesbian, and I have no problem with other lesbians. Love being a lesbian, women are amazing.
I just wanted to vent. I don’t need to be told that it’s not better on the other side or that the lesbians you know are cool. I thought this was a place to vent?
lesbians are not a monolith we don’t all think and act the same. it’s about finding good company just like with anything else. also can you clarify what you mean by ‘women coming into our spaces and taking things away?’ we do have lesbian bars and lesbian dating apps fyi
As a straight woman, I agree. Its very sad to see that there arent any popular dating apps for lesbians/bi women. And when you go to a lesbian bar, there are MANY straight men and women. But when you go to a gay bar, its always men, men, men. Shouldn’t “gay” also mean “gay women”? Idk.
Its late. Im annoyed about this topic, too. Im sorry. Lesbians and bi women need more spaces. I live in Berlin and it is VERY queer, but it seems that Lesbians still dont have a special singular place.
Yeah, there are lesbian parties here and there, but not nearly as many as male “gay” parties. Its sad.
Listen i know no one is gonna convince you and change your view but.. every side is shitty, lesbian, straight, gay, sadly the problem always ends up down to “people”/”humans” as someone around the community i dee the same from gays. As someone that like women i tell you, not much better, but all boils down to people really :/
I think no matter what your sexual orientation is or how you identify, you just need to learn to avoid people who attract drama. Also, do you hang out with mixed groups of people or just lesbians? Here’s a funny thing I kind of hate being a straight woman. Men irritate the fuck out of me sometimes and I feel like I don’t like them at all. I would rather have a woman for a partner, but there are parts of the sex that don’t appeal to me. I think all of this is just part of life.
I gotta say, as a gay trans masc, I wish our community was as good as you’ve described it to be. It sounds like you’re just venting about sexism on top of homophobia.
Statistically, divorce rates are high among lesbian couples, nearly 70% I believe. Could be many reasons for that, but a little numbers fact to help support your claim regarding other lesbians.
You can totally vent. As a gay guy, sometimes other gay guys can be gross. I totally get where you’re coming from.
If anything, sometimes I feel the opposite, I’m like “WHY AM I NOT A LESBIAN!” and like, “WHY DO MEN SUCC?” and then I’m like oh right duh.
Hey, you’re valid and you’re heard. I promise, its wild here. Take your time. Be angry. Shout into the void. We gotchu fam.
You sound like you don’t actually want to look for solutions. You just want to be fucking miserable and have people feel sorry for you. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side and you thinking that gay men have it easier bc of more “access” to shit is showing your ignorance. I understand it’s tough…I’m a masc living in Texas, but you’ve gotta find the right group of people. Also there’s definitely apps for lesbians. But it just sounds like you need to find better lesbians to spend your time with
“Besides straight girls coming to gay bars which is annoying”. Heterophobia (and uncovered biphobia).
“But at least you (gay) have… and all this cool stuff. Women can’t have shit”: entitlement.
You disagree on heterosexual women to invade spaces and at the same time you want to invade spaces.
Yikes.. I hate being bi. Have you seen men in this patriarchy lately? Wanna trade sexualities?
I think i hear what ur saying. I feel like a lot of people conditioned female have stronger breaks when it comes to sex. So grindr, clubs, bars – all which can promote more free-sex and one night stands – aren’t going to have as much staying power in lesbian communities. It sucks that you can’t find a place for this part of you. I used to feel that way a lot in my twenties and early thirites. Like i just wanted to get laid and i watched all the dudes up in the castro having a good ol time and wondering why we had nothing like it and i’d get frustrated with the community for that.
I’m older now, and that desire has somewhat passed. BUt i remember.