I’ll never admit this in real life since society is so hard on mothers and women already. I was taught at a young age I am suppose to be a wife and mom and that’s what makes my life a good and happy one
Everyone around me is also married and has kids and they all seem happy. All the moms seem to really enjoy motherhood. Being a wife and mom is like a hobby to them. Now I’m not complaining about being married I love being married. It’s having a child that’s too much for me
My toddler is 2 years old. I work and I’m a mom. My husband shares the load with me. It’s just still all too much for me. I took my PTO today and tomorrow just to relax at home while my baby is at daycare and they have an Easter hunt tomorrow at daycare and my husband is calling me selfish because I don’t want to go to that and I can go to it because I’m off but I don’t want to spend my off day going to that. He can’t go because he has to work and he can’t take off. He literally picked a fight about that and said that I’m a bad mom and how the other moms “love doing mom shit”
I actually do agree with him. I do see other moms being so joyful and happy doing activities with their babies. I’m just not into it. I do pick up at the daycare and I see all these moms all happy picking up their kids and they are all talking to them and I’m just in and out real quick and then I just go home and take a nap, unwind and watch tv
The other moms love going to children events with their little ones and they genuinely do love participating in that sort of thing. They love baking and cooking, I don’t. The other moms post nonstop photos of their kids on social media and I don’t do that and I get questioned all the time why I don’t post pictures of my child on social media
The other moms also spend so much time spending time with their kids but I feel miserable when I have an entire day alone with my toddler. I feel drained and I don’t have fun. I just don’t like anything about spending time with my baby. I never really did.
I was a stay at home mom for 1 year and I couldn’t take it anymore and I got a job just to get away from my baby
I feel like when my son is older I won’t hate motherhood so much but right now it’s too much for me. I’m not happy doing kid shit. I’m not all smilies and giggles around kids. I just don’t have a lot of fun doing that’s stuff
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I see you.
I felt like this then I went on anti anxiety & anti depression meds & now I feel MUCH better. Try it!
This is my fear of being a mom. And so many moms feel this way! There might be an older age where you feel more connected, but I’m sorry that you are in this position
Yikes!
As a father to 2 kids (3.5 year old & 1.5 year old) I fully understand that being a parent can be a very difficult job! I tell me wife who is a STAM that I literally don’t think I could stay home and raise our boys while she works everyday. I could with 1 child, but 2 is just too much for me to handle.
Now that being said, I certainly want to give you the benefit of the doubt and to show you some grace, but I can only to an extent…
I absolutely do not question your ability to take care of your child as you have given me no reason to question that at all. However at the same time it seems clear to me that you probably should not have become a mother. At least not yet.
Like I totally get not loving all aspects of parenthood, that literally goes without saying. For instance there is only so many times I can feign interest about the exact same thing over and over to my toddler when he repeats the same thing and looks for approval/validation. That sort of thing is completely normal I would say.
However you seem to take it considerably farther than that when you say things like-
“I just don’t like anything about spending time with my baby. I never really did.” and “I was a stay at home mom for 1 year and I couldn’t take it anymore and I got a job just to get away from my baby”
I think most parents can relate to you from time to time when you say “I’m not happy doing kid shit.”, but it’s not that you are just unhappy. You are literally refusing to participate when you have no good reason to other than “I just don’t want to” which is what really has me concerned…
I think there are many cases when parents are forced to fake excitement for their kids benefit or they are just going through to motions with some activity that is not very stimulating for an adult. But the difference there is that they are still participating, even if they are not really enjoying the activity itself.
However it sounds like you are no longer even willing to put in the effort to participate anymore with anything non essential to you kids basic needs. That is what makes me think you should not have become a mother to be honest.
For your sake, I really hope your child doesn’t pick up on this as he continues to grow. You would be surprised at how perceptive kids can be…
I’m so sorry you feel this way. I truly believe there are many more folks out there who feel the same way but just fake it to appear as if they’re living a perfect life.
Sending you hugs.
I’m certainly not a parenr but what I’ve heard is that it’s okay to not like baby things. You are, after all, not a baby.
You don’t want to attend kiddie events? That’s fine. You don’t want to play legos with your 2 year old? Also okay. You may just enjoy parenting more when they reach a certain stage/age.