I absolutely hate it when I get defaulted to my husband’s last name! I made the choice not to change my name, people know that my last name is still my maiden name, and people still refuse to acknowledge that. It’s especially irritating on invitations where it’s “Mr. & Mrs. husband’s first and last name.”
I’ve written my name to these people out several times in various correspondences and it never gets changed. I know this is silly to get upset about, but it irritates the hell out of me because I made the choice not to take his name. I always respect women who took their husband‘s last name. I would never assume they made the decision I did and call them by their maiden name. I go by what they have told me in the past.