Hi, I’m coming here to talk this out instead of being impulsive. If I go to my friends they will tell me to do it immediately because they are all happy to support me in all of my bullshit. Love them but I have to live with the choices I make…
So here’s my deal I’m a 51 yr old fat woman. I work in the arts, painter, illustrator, curator. No partner or children by choice (lost the stomach for daring and I never wanted to make people). I wear whatever I want, from all back long dresses and capes to gold half kaftans and all the jewelry that I enjoy. I do what I want, because I can.
My issue… my hair. I don’t know what to do with it anymore. I go through cycles of cutting it off to a pixie and growing it out. Currently in the growing out stage… and I hate it. Most of the time I dress to be comfortable and practical. My hair is past my shoulders and it goes into a bun all day every day, which was the same thing I did the last time I had it longer. I don’t think this is a great look. I got a high forehead with widows peaks. Hair is thin textured (like spider silk) but dense, dark brown but I’m going silver at my temples which I think is neat. So I roll around with my hair looking like a Victorian schoolteacher. I’ve been experimenting with hair sticks and those are fun… but idk.
My original goal was to get it as long as possible, kind of as a rebellious move in a way. But… I hate how it looks down. When I shed the hair seems to get everywhere all the time. So yesterday I asked myself is this worth it. I’m not happy with my appearance, tho that could be just age. I’m getting sunspots and I don’t appreciate that, otherwise I’m fine with the rest.
So why not go back to a pixie? The maintenance. I didn’t like that I had to go get a haircut so often, and it adds up. So.. I thought yesterday that perhaps the most punk thing to do would be to buzz cut it to a half inch and dye it a dark blue-purple.
What’s stopping me: I question how it’ll look on me. My jawline isn’t snatched like it used to be… but then I think I pull my hair back anyway so why should it matter? I can not hide the shape that I am regardless of hair length. But still. I think about these things. I’m not concerned about having to wear makeup because I do anyway. Apart from the sunspots I have inherited dark circles around my eyes. If I don’t even my skin tone out I’ve been asked if I’ve been in a fight. And even so, not all days need full “war paint”. Not concerned about being misgendered or thought of as queer either. If people want to judge me without knowing me that’s their problem, and what’s wrong with being trans or queer anyway?
I guess the question I’m trying to decide is do I “lose all this hard work” growing my hair out. Like yeah it grows back… but growing it back will be a pain.
If you got this far, thanks and I hope you enjoyed my rant.
Comments
Buy a wig. Cut your hair. That way if it doesn’t work you have a backup plan
Maybe you could grow it until it’s a suitable length to donate then donate your hair and buzz it! This way you’re not “losing the hard work” and you can experiment with a buzz cut!
How’s your head shape?
If your hair is annoying you, get rid of it.
Also, if you buzz your hair and hate it, you won’t have to wait long until it’s at a pixie again.
> My original goal was to get it as long as possible, kind of as a rebellious move in a way. But… I hate how it looks down.
Did that feel good? Did that make you feel good?
If so, then yes, cut your hair, cut it all off.
I think everyone should shave their head at least once. Go for it! It’s freeing, it’s nice for the summer, it’s easy! And, if you hate, it, it’ll grow back to pixie length fairly quickly.
I shaved my head the first time at uh… 36? I am also a fat AFAB. I loved it. Did it several more times. Currently I’m growing it out, it’s about where my bra strap would be, but shaved underneath to just above my ears.
It’s only hair.