31F and 25M 3 year relationship
I hate sleeping next to my partner. I sleep terribly. I feel really guilty for it as well. They shake their leg in their sleep and are constantly putting their body on “my” side of the bed. I sleep so warm so all of this is really affecting my quality of sleep and ive noticed it’s making me very irritable and am annoyed at everything they do (not the case before more severe sleep problems) when we are awake. We go to bed at different times usually but I wake up multiple times a night and can’t go back to sleep if all of these factors are occurring. This is really affecting my day to day life and was wondering how I go about starting to fix this. Getting another bed is not currently financially feasible. Should I just start sleeping on the couch? At this point for the last year, ive been getting 2 hour blocks of sleep at max three times over a day and I am just so exhausted.
Tldr: my sleep sucks anyway and it’s been made worse recently due to partner sleeping behaviors
Comments
Do you like your partner otherwise? If yes, sleep on the couch. If no, dump your partner so they find someone who likes sleeping next to them.
What did he tell you when you sat him down to discuss this issue?
Yes do what you need to do to sleep better
Why is getting another bed not financially feasible? They’re quite affordable if you’re looking in the right places. I’ve gotten several brand new mattresses for dirt cheap or free over the years on Facebook marketplace when I was broke. It’s not impossible.
You can’t change your partners sleeping habits/behaviors, so I suggest if this is a relationship you’d like to keep you have to make sacrifices to get yourself another bed. Bad sleep affects your health. I have my own bedroom for this reason, and I’m married.
Lots of couples sleep in separate rooms! It’s been called a marriage saver by many. If you can’t afford another bedroom, consider finding a nice sofa bed. You can upgrade the mattress in those to be way more comfortable. One of you can sleep in the living room. I know a couple who has separate beds. They cuddle up in one of the rooms in the evening, watch TV together, do the usual nightly couples routine, and then one goes to their bedroom to sleep.