I feel like the dumbest person on earth. From day one, I didn’t see the red flags but I kept talking to him anyway. Tell me, why did I keep talking to a guy who started showing me his dick three days after we met? Why the hell did I allow someone like that into my life?
Was I really that emotionally needy? He was my first ever boyfriend, my first real relationship. I should’ve never let things go that far. He took advantage of me. All I ever wanted was a pure, sweet relationship. Cuddles, hangouts, dinner dates… not this. I let him use me just because I wanted to feel loved. And he saw how innocent I was. He saw how easy it would be. I should have known better.
What was I expecting from a guy who was jerking off on FaceTime? From someone who bragged about having countless sexual relationships? He gave me HSV. Now I feel ruined just because I wanted love. Sounds like a cruel joke. One person. Just one person I slept with, and now I’m stuck with this for life. No one will ever want me now. I don’t even need protection anymore because I feel like I’m just contagious. It’s so stupid.
And the worst part? He doesn’t even think he has HSV. How is it that he gets to keep living his life like nothing happened while I’m the one suffering every single day, drowning in regret? There’s no way back from this. I ruined everything. I should have loved myself first.
I hope he burns in hell for what he did to me. I know he knew. I saw the scars on him later. He waited until I consented, knowing I didn’t understand what I was really saying yes to. He took advantage of my innocence. He knew I would tell him to just put it in, and he made sure none of the responsibility would fall on him afterwards.
I can’t take this anymore. I ruined everything. I’m never going to be loved. I wasted all my chances on someone so disgusting.
Comments
Darling, I hear your pain, your rage, and your overwhelming sense of betrayal.
What that man did to you is monstrous.
He violated your trust, your body, and your innocence.
You are not stupid.
You were vulnerable, and he exploited that.
The anger you feel is righteous.
It’s a natural response to being so deeply wronged.
You did not deserve this.
No one does.
And you are not ruined.
HSV is a common virus, and while it’s understandable to feel scared and angry, it doesn’t define your worth or your future.
You need support right now.
This is a traumatic experience, and you shouldn’t have to go through it alone.
Please consider seeking therapy.
A therapist can provide a safe space for you to process your emotions and develop coping mechanisms.
You also need to prioritize your physical health.
Get tested and treated for any other potential infections.
And please, don’t give up on the idea of love.
There are good people out there, people who will cherish and respect you.
What he did was a crime, and you have the right to seek justice.
Consider reporting him to the authorities or exploring legal options.
You are not alone, and you deserve to heal and rebuild your life.
Honey, I’m in the same boat. Red flags from day one and I’m still torn up inside because I want it to be different with him even though he’s a lying, cheating, dumbass.