Location: Ohio
I currently go to OSU and I’m struggling to understand what to do. A church acquaintance who I never really talked to just confessed his feelings for me and said he wanted to “get married to me and move to California to have 6 children”. For reference we are both 18.
The problem isn’t that he’s obsessed with me, but he’s actively crazy. He went up to my dad in the middle of church wearing a full on suit and lit a cigarette right in his face before walking out. That night he got drunk and started threatening me to all his roommates.
The day before his roommates had to tackle him because he was trying to find where I was on campus. I don’t know what he plans on doing to me, and I’m afraid.
I have campus police who are walking me to my classes in the evenings and friends for morning and afternoon classes. Currently I am switching between living on campus and other peoples homes within my church.
What should I do to make sure he never comes near me?
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NAL- If it is to the point where campus police are escorting you, filing a petition with the court sounds like the next step. Do not directly interact with that guy or give him any sort of attention.
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It appears OSU has student legal services
https://studentlegal.osu.edu/
They will likely be able to help you get info or provide a referral to someone who can.
There’s a chance you might be able to get a temporary or permanent restraining order, but you should get an actual attorney to provide advice on whether that’s possible
Your university will have a legal office for students, they are usually free of charge. Start there to see if you can get a restraining order. Save copies of any communications from him and keep a log of any in person incidents.
If you haven’t already, make written reports his behavior and your concerns to the dean of students, campus police, the campus Title 9 officer, and local police.
If there’s a women’s resource center or counseling center on campus, check there to see what they can offer or recommend for additional support & resources.
Don’t engage with him any further and ignore anyone telling you that you should just talk to him. This is not your fault and you are not obligated to try to fix crazy.
In addition to the good advice here, make sure you contact the university administration (resident life or student life).
If your harasser is not a student, the university can ban him from campus and have him arrested for trespassing if he enters. If he is a student, the university can start an internal investigation and punish him up to kicking him out of school.
If you don’t get a good response from the administration, contact the Title IX office at https://civilrights.osu.edu/about/focus-areas/sexual-misconduct-and-title-ix/sexual-misconducttitle-ix-policies
Additionally, out of the realm of legal, please contact the student health services for mental health treatment. Also, staying on campus in a dorm may actually be safer than staying off campus. You have more support and protection on campus.
Stalking is scary. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
If your school offers legal services, you may consult them about what it is involved in petitioning for a protection order. Should they not, it still would behoove you to seek legal advice.
There’s a certain burden of proof you, as the petitioner, need to provide the court to show a protection order is warranted. Make sure you save or document any interactions that make you feel stalked or otherwise in danger.
A protection order unfortunately doesn’t put a force field around you so you’ll still need to be aware of your surroundings, but if he violates the terms of the order there will be judicial consequences. It gives law enforcement some teeth for dealing with him should the need arise.
You may also want to look into how to deal with stalkers to see if there are better strategies than the legal route that rewards him with your attention — even if that attention is negative.