Hello all,
I hope all of you guys are having a great weekend. I wanted to write on here to vent about how I have been feeling lately. My boyfriend (23m) and I (21f) have been together for 2 1/2 years, this is my first serious relationship that has been this long. i love him dearly with all of my heart, and i know he feels the same way about me. With that being said, I don’t know why but lately i have been having a gut feeling he’s been cheating on me. My boyfriend and I currently do not live together, we’re both struggling financially but we’re close to getting our first home together, and lately for the past 6-9 months of our relationship, i have been feeling like he’s pulling away little by little. i try different things to make our relationship a bit more exciting, since it has gotten a bit comfortable i.e; having date nights again, going on a road trip and traveling around the country. well this past week has been one hellish week. on Wednesday, we got into a huge argument about stupid stuff (mostly financial stuff) and i demanded to see his phone, we were in the car during the argument and he did not want to hand his phone over to me siting “it is a privacy matter, i do not want to give you my phone.” but then i asked if it’s such a privacy thing now, why didn’t you have an issue giving me your phone in the beginning of the relationship? basically long story short he did not let me see his phone at all, matter of fact he put his phone on the little compartment by where he was sitting at so i wouldn’t go over to grab it. now he’s been pretty avoidant of me not seeing his phone, touching his phone and everytime i’m around him he puts his phone away in his pocket. i don’t know if i am being paranoid or my gut instinct might be right but i do not know what to do. i tried to explain to him why him not giving me his phone made me upset and it was fishy that he had to hide his phone. i don’t know if he’s cheating on me physically or is he cheating on me using dating apps and texting other females suggestively. also he just started a new job and he told me his boss (a female, idk her age) has been making moves on him and that is also making me uncomfortable as well, he explained to me his boss is getting ready to leave in 2 weeks time to go to another job but i have the strongest gut feeling he might be either physically cheating or emotionally cheating. i have already tried explaining my feelings to him and he does keep reassuring me that nothing is happening but why is he being so damn secretive with his phone? it’s actually to the point where my heart is sinking to my stomach if he is doing something shady on his phone. please help, i don’t know what to do!
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OP, your instincts are usually right. If I were in your shoes, I’d end it. Just the fact that you don’t trust him says the relationship isn’t a good one. And what’s funny is, you don’t trust him, AND at every turn he’s showing you that you shouldn’t be trusting him. You don’t need proof of his cheating to just be done.
Oh, and definitely don’t buy a house with someone you’re not married to.
You’re not being paranoid.. him not giving you his phone is weird and secretive. If he had nothing to hide then he would’ve simply handed it over. I would say give him an ultimatum: hand over the phone or you’re leaving him but he could’ve already deleted evidence of him cheating. If this was me in your situation I would’ve IMMEDIATELY broke up with him as soon as he didn’t hand over phone the first time when you told him to.