I feel like I can’t be honest with my therapist or they might institutionalize me for being dangerous even though I have never done anything illegal
But I feel like I can’t be fixed if I don’t tell them
What do I do?
I have a paraphilia, how do I tell my therapist without being institutionalized?
r/Advice
Comments
you think now you’ll never do anything, maybe it’s better to get help , might not want to but maybe you need to
They won’t institutionalize you. Especially if you’re there wanting to change it and you’ve never done anything illegal. Just be honest and open. Seriously tell them and express that you don’t like these feelings and they will mark that down as a major milestone for change. You would be surprised on how understanding they can be with things like this. Take it from someone who has their degree in clinical psychology though I’m not a practitioner. Let me know what you decide and how it goes for you.
Generally, the standard for institutionalization is “imminent harm to yourself or others”. By definition, asking for help and counseling for it doesn’t mean you’re about to go out and hump a car in a Walmart parking lot… unless you are… just, don’t do that. Ask for help, please.
I guess it would depend on how extreme the paraphilia was?
What is your paraphilia?
I think context is important? Because theres a difference between like wanting to like fuck clowns or lick poop vs wanting wanting things that abuse people/animals
So we really dont have much in the way of institutions anymore. If you are not actively planning to hurt others or yourself, we dont have anywhere to send you. If you have a paraphillia, you DO need specialized therapy. You will never get it if you dont come forward.
In the US, the requirement for involuntary inpatient treatment is ‘presenting a significant risk of serious physical harm to oneself or others’. If you don’t meet that requirement, you’re safe, and if you do meet that requirement then being forced into inpatient treatment is the best possible outcome.
You should 100% be honest, I was scared before and I kept my secrets for a few years. It only gets worse. The therapist is there to help you, you will not be institutionalized unless you pose immediate danger to yourself or others.
The fact that you want to get help is huge. You should be proud of that. I can only imagine how scary it is to have certain thoughts/ urges and to consider disclosing it to a professional.
As long as you aren’t actively harming anyone, planning on harming anyone, aren’t engaging in anyway irl or online that you shouldn’t be, and don’t posses physical or virtual materials that are sensitive in nature and illegal- they don’t really have grounds to lock you up.
Maybe you should look for a progressive sex therapist or someone trained to help people suffering from your issues.
I would talk to your therapist ahead of time about your concerns and based on their answers, I’d gauge whether I was comfortable moving forward.
I’d also research the laws in your jurisdiction.
Like you said, you have to be able to talk about it to get to a better place. Having a therapist you trust is huge.
I wouldn’t necessarily bring it up on your first or first few sessions until I got a feeling for who they are.
Your desire to talk about it and get help is great. Don’t let your fears stop you from getting the help you need.
Suggestion – See if you can work with am Internal Family Systems therapist ; one who uses the model as their main modality (many are just “IFS informed”)and who ideally has experience with working with sexual parts (subpersonalities). They won’t see it as pathological ans will help you come into curiosity around it and potentially shift it from there. Great therapeutic model.