I (20f) have been with my bf (21m) for over a year and a half. At the beginning of our relationship I was convinced he was cheating on me, he denied it, I believed him, never mentioned it again. Today, about an hour and a half ago I was scrolling through instagram and an account belonging to a young woman popped up in my recommended. It was straight up pictures of her butt and I thought it was funny so I clicked on one and lo and behold my boyfriend has liked several of her suggestive posts. I then (unfortunately) went through his following on instagram and found that he had been steadily liking women’s suggestive posts up until around August of 2024 (we had been together over 6 months at that point in time). The timing of him liking these posts aligns with the time I asked him if he was cheating and I’m starting to wonder if my intuition was right. He will be up for work in about 3 hours and I will be up in about 5. If i legitimately confront him about this I’m scared either of our reactions could have detrimental effects on our relationship that is otherwise healthy and thriving. Help?
I have about 5 hours to decide if i want to risk my relationship over a hunch.
r/Advice
Comments
At this stage, does it matter if he has or not? You don’t trust him, and likely never will. You’re always going to have doubts, and his behaviour upsets you. I don’t see the two of you having a future if there is no trust.
I might be very wrong and probably my response doesn’t align with Reddits vibe and culture. But I think 21 year old liking ass and tits on Instagram is expected and normal considering you guys are both babies still and have a long lives ahead of you. Probably neither of you is either ones last romantic relationship either 🥹
Honestly, look…likin’ a few hot pics isn’t necessarily cheat’n dude. People can fancy what they see without acting on it, y’know? But if it’s hurtin’ you real bad, time for a heart-to-heart talk. But make sure it ain’t about accusin’, it’s about expressin’ how u feel. Relationships need trust and honesty, nothin’ less, nothin’ more. Btw, ‘hunches’ sometimes need a reality check. Just saying. Keep ya head up.👍
You should ask him about it because its just going to eat at you if you don’t. However no need to do so first thing in the morning. Ask him in the afternoon after work/school etc so that any resulting conflict isn’t consuming your mind throughout the day.
Don’t accuse, simply ask about it. Liking thirst traps isn’t a smoking gun for cheating but that doesn’t mean its something for him to be proud of either. If the relationship is indeed healthy and thriving it should survive this conversation.
He only liked pictures (like all men do let’s be honest here) but check his dms if you wanna be sure he ain’t doing that Make sure sure he’s a heavy sleeper as well
Or
You can act like an adult and if you see a future with him talk to him about it and see if he changes just let him know it makes you uncomfortable and if doesnt change don’t waste your time on him anymore
Imma just say this: It’s better to hurt from truth now than regret not acting on your gut later. Ig likes may not mean he’s cheating, but if it’s bothering you this much, it’s def worth a convo. Just keep it calm, open and honest. Good luck!
We men are dumb as fuck when it comes to those things however most of us are sane enough to understand that liking a photo of a pretty arse on the internet doesn’t mean we get to be in it.
However if he has or hasn’t doesn’t make a bit of difference you dont trust him it’s broken either way
Abort I repeat abort mission.
Liking booty pics and cheating are very different things, and I get the distinct impression neither of you set clear enough boundaries for the type of confrontation you’re building up to do.
Back off for a second out of your spiral and take a breath. What’s the real issue here? Betrayal of trust. Your suspicion of cheating was never resolved, meaning it sat in you and festered. This is bad on your end, don’t do that it fucks people up. Now, these booty pics have struck that old cheating wound that never got healed and has compounded your feelings.
What you’re feeling is correct, but how much you’re feeling is wrong.
Have an adult conversation about your concerns, tell him that it hurt you that he liked other girls booties online when you feel like he gave you the distinct impression that he wasn’t that type of guy. This brought up an old worry of yours that early in the relationship he was cheating, (I have no idea how valid this claim is so also be sure to do some reflecting on if your anxiety filled in some gaps poorly or if there was truly some fishy nonsense at play) and you’re having a hard time trusting him because it feels like we were on the same page, but actually he was in an entire different chapter on whats okay and not for our relationship.
All in all, no do not pop off over a hunch. The booty pics hit a wound and you’re too fired up for the situation so cool off before communicating.
If something feels off, trust your gut. Your intuition will save yourself a LOT of heartaches and headaches.
Never do these talks and conversations BEFORE WORK! It will set your whole day up for ruin and misery. Wait till you’re both home from work. And have a sit down.