It ain’t from a lack of trying I can tell you that. I learn new skills very quickly and dedicated myself to long term study but I’ve burned out of everything I’ve ever had a passion for.
live sound audio engineering (10 years)
Custom woodworking (1 year)
software engineering and cyber security (a skill I was becoming proficient in but was unhirable due to my criminal record)
And I whole lot in between.
Ever since I was young all I wanted to do was write a draw my own comics. So for the last five years I’ve pushed towards developing better art and writing skills. I still have the drive to keep going but I turn 37 this year and I feel like I should have accomplished something by now. I haven’t completed one single comic even after spending most of my free time working towards this.
I have an IQ of 135. No I’m not a genius but I’m just smart enough that my potential has always looked down on me like a disappointing parent. I also have very overt symptoms of ADHD but I’ve never really considered that major hindrance.
This past week I did something I never do. I just sat on my ass and watched TV and ate junk food. No drawing, no exercise, no writing… Just the west wing and taco bell. I feel like I’m going to give up again. Has anyone else felt lost, like you will never live up to your potential? I drive a pedicab for work. It’s a great job but it doesn’t give me that.. whatever it is I’m looking for.
I’m looking for open source wisdom. Anyone have any advice?
Comments
Hello 👋
I often think what if I just die ordinary. But then realised I am not ordinary, if i keep trying. Irrespective. Life is a tricky thing. Almost everything we are wired to believe is only a perspective and definitely failure is subjective.
Instead of bugging yourself with the question, where do I want to be in life, just ask yourself where do I want to be, next ?
You feel like a failure, because you have been trying to find that one thing. And you are trying multiple things and failing at them… but how do we excel without failing at something.
We were taught failure is SO BAD. Shameful.
But the point is the way to extraordinary is through many failures.
The ones who don’t try because they would fail, are the ordinary failures.
The ones who keep trying and failing, find their path eventually.
You are doing absolutely great. 🫂 JUST KEEP DOING without measuring yourself against some standards.
I write and I make comics too.
You can connect with me and maybe I can help you finish that first but little comic 🙂