I have different expectations from my partner on how much time and effort should be put into the relationship, can it still be salvaged?

TL;DR – My partner (33M) and I (33F), together for almost a year, have been struggling with incompatibility – we’re not on the same page about how much we should prioritize each other, I don’t want to break up. How do I make it work while still feeling fulfilled?

Some background: My partner is a freelancer in a creative space, does not have a strict schedule, and has a go with the flow approach to how he spends his time. He has cats and needs his home to work from. I’m in a tech job with a regular schedule, I deal with high stress and demanding expectations at my job but I actively work on balancing my work and life. I like predictability, such as knowing how I’d be spending my time over the week but can be flexible. I don’t have pets waiting for me at home and if I have to work extra don’t need my home office. Our relationship has been amazing and I want a future with him, he’s also frequently expressed the same.

Except, we’ve had a series of conflicts which have made things difficult over the last few months. My experience is that the dynamic in our relationship has changed a lot with time. Initially, he put in a lot of time and effort into us and was very attentive and loving. To the point that I was wondering if it bordered on love bombing but managed to control the pace of the relationship. But after a few months, the length and quality of time we spent together declined. Since the start, he’d come over to mine on a couple week days while I’d spend most weekends at his (unless we had specific plans) so it would work well for him and his cats and allow me a shorter commute to work.

He got really busy with work around 3-4 months in and it hasn’t changed much since then. He started losing track of time working or doing chores and would come to mine on fewer days, and when he did, it’s be pretty late in the evenings, leaving little time to do anything besides really late dinner and going to bed. We started going on dates less, being intimate less, making breakfast/dinner less. He became less attentive, more forgetful, and tends to get distracted, lose himself into work or other things on weekends frequently when I’m at his. Due to our schedules I’m always the one to call or text firsts, ask to meet, etc.

After a while things like this started to bother me. Discussion around it always lead to conflict which quickly gets worse and exhausting. We never call each other names or yell, and sometimes they’re started by me bringing up my feelings but most times by him sensing something is wrong. He always feels attacked and criticized, and that my expectations from him are unreasonable and unfair, but I never try to attack him. I feel like I give a lot more than I receive and feel unloved and unheard. He says that the time we spend together is sufficient for him. I’ve always tried to support his career, I talk to him about his work a lot in detail, provide emotional support when things go wrong, try to adjust my schedule around his, sometimes bring food or help with chores when he’s busy, let him work while I work or hang around nearby, etc. He says he’s happy with how things are and none of it means he doesn’t love me. He feels as if I’m not supportive of his career (that he loves), and that I make him feel unappreciated and not good enough. He simply doesn’t agree that we spend less time together or don’t spend quality time and doesn’t understand what I want. He also says that he gives all of his free time to me and has nothing else to give.

It’s clear that we have different perceptions and experience our relationship and issues differently. We’ve had this conflict so many times now that we’re starting to be very emotionally affected. We’ve both tried to change our behavior but it only lasts for so long. And at this point we’re both walking on eggshells around each other. He’s mentioned questioning our relationship in the last few arguments.

I might get advised to end things because we’re not compatible. I love my partner and aside from this specific issue, everything else about the relationship is what I’ve always wanted. And he has expressed the same to me. The thought of ending it is really painful, even as someone who has left all my past relationships without fear.

I know I have some work to do on my insecurities and to focus on the positives. But I also feel like my expectations are already reasonable.
This might never change and I might feel unfulfilled, taken for granted, taken advantage of, etc. Is this incompatibility the death of my relationship or can I still make it work because it’s worth it? What can I change about my expectations and behavior?

Note – I was single for 2 years before this relationship and did therapy before feeling ready to date. I’ve signed up for therapy again to work through it. He cannot afford therapy.