I (25M) do not like myself. It’s not a hatred for how I look physically, it’s something about my personality. Advice is normally, ‘work on the parts of yourself you don’t like.’ The thing is, I can’t put my finger on what I don’t like about myself, only a deep down feeling of discontentment, enough to move me to tears if I think about it. What are some broad things i can do to help my self esteem? It’s at an all time low.
I have low self esteem. How did you start to love yourself?
r/AskMen
Comments
become good at something.
Do you have friends? (genuine question).
In my case, I didn’t. But after identifying and acknowledging my mental health issues, I’ve learned to tolerate myself.
My wife and few friends also seem to like me, so I respect their opinions, whether I agree or not.
i am not sure if you are spiritual, but if you are open to exploring that: begin to see yourself how God sees you. That emptiness, that sadness you feel for no apparent reason? It’s the subconscious cry of the soul. When you realize how much God loves you, you’ll begin to love yourself.
God doesn’t love you for who you are, what you look like, or what you can provide. His love is boundless. He loves you because that is what He is– *pure love*. and you’re his creation, wonderfully and fearfully made.
Good luck my friend 🙂
Do you work out? How is your relationship with your parents? Sorry not tips but trying to better understand your situation.
Most self esteem issues start with a gap between where a person is and where they desire to be deep down. The misalignment of hidden potential to current reality.
I would tell you to describe the person you wish to be. I mean tangible character traits.
Example: “My ideal self can bench press 225lbs. My ideal self reads a book every month. My ideal self is a positive person who makes at least one person smile each day.”
Personalize or come up with these for yourself.
But low self esteem is your mind’s way of telling you that you’re not living up to your best potential in some way.
By loving others and observing how others receive and give love. Loving yourself is not the first step as many think. We learn by being surrounded by good examples, and having places to practice.
When I was younger I had very low self esteem, probably originated from being teased relentlessly in grade school. As I grew older I realized that I’m a good guy and stuck with decent, good people. All the toxic people in my life were cut out and with them went their negativity. I’m 57 now and am very confident and have excellent self esteem. Maybe you can get hooked up with a good therapist to help you out? And remember not all therapists are good or are a good match. It may take time to find the right one and it’ll take time to build up your self esteem – it won’t happen overnight. Good luck!
Set goals and put in the work to achieve them. Lather, rinse, repeat.
[removed]
Set small goals and slowly increase the scope
Introspection. Take some time sit and relax and let your brain wonder while you try to think to yourself what do i dislike about myself. That should help you if you can be honest with yourself find the issue. If you let your mind wonder it’s usually pretty good at finding the internal problem.
If you know what it is you can work on it.
Other than that focus on the smaller things and think positively about the things you do that in your opinion are good. Could be as simple as being kind to your pet. Or taking good care of your car.
And if you have a hobby work on it to find some pride in it.
It’s hard to work on yourself when you aren’t aware of the problem yet, but if nothing works try an external source of insight. Whether a family member or friend or a professional that is up to you.
I stopped caring so much, especially about things I can’t control. I started learning how to enjoy the little things, I started doing things I always wanted to do. Fix what you can, accept what you can’t and stop wasting your time worrying about it because life will pass you by while you’re in a bad mood and you will regret it.
The art of realizing anything you find wrong or bad about yourself is all a societies idea of a perfect person being pushed on you to make you feel less than perfect.
Some people have no choice, but to do the things they hate the most. It’s sounds crazy. But people are remade by insanity, isolation, and extreme violence. The point I want to express is. Know who you are, and stay true to yourself. Fight the feelings avoidance, and if you have to. Than cry. Press the issue? Maybe you will find that piece of yourself. It may not, have been created yet. People attribute this to hard work, or something Devine in nature. The wonder of life is ment to be healed, or totally repaired. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else? You can make a mountain out of a molehill. – selfcare.
Make a list of when you’ve been naughty or nice, e.g., a list of your good attributes and successful accomplishments, and a separate list of your failures and times that you were mean to others. Try to manage ways to make the first list longer and the second shorter. It’s okay to ask for help as sometimes we need support to overcome, say, alcoholism or selfishness or envy.
On some real shit if you hate yourself go to the gym tearing your muscles and building strength can motivate you.
Use spite lol world waits for no one 🤷🏾♂️
Identify your values and living by them.
If you don’t go to a gym and know within yourself that you won’t go to one:
Exercise at home. Do HIIT workouts, and do running.
Buy some weights and work on yourself at home.
Try jacking off more
I mean at this age and still struggling with low self esteem? I suggest you to see a psychiatrist ASAP he’ll get back to root cause and navigate you through it.. stop asking random uncertified people about your insecurities!
This will be hard, but remove things from your life that results in a bad feeling… enough people on the planet will make you feel bad, dont include yourself in that group. This was one of the best things i did, also though you need to review why you feel you want other people to think you have self esteem, thats the other problem, just do things your good at.. AND do things you think you cant do, to learn. For me i am now on a voice acting coarse, very hard but nothing changes if you keep doing the same thing. Even after just the first 2.5 hour training i feel better about myself (the coarse i am on is running by a real script writer, director and producer).
I am (and always have been) single.
A lifelong battle with bipolar disorder and bullying has left its scars. Getting PTSD from two separate traumas did not help. Being unable to find a job on my own has not helped my self esteem.
I’ve just about given up socially.