I sound so dumb when I talk. When I say no filter, I’m not straight up rude or disrespectful. However, even in a professional setting, I don’t sugarcoat my words and use professional language. If I don’t know something, I’d say “Oops, I forgot this or I don’t even know this” or “I worked in this job for money.” I’m just not afraid to admit I don’t know.
It doesn’t come off as genuine or intelligent. Sometimes people assume I’m the dumbest in the room. Others assume I’m just funny and don’t know what I’m doing. Usually, I deliver the best product (humble brag).
I see my colleagues and they say stuff like “I’ll get back to you” or “I have a lot experiences working on x, y, and z” then I later find out they don’t even know things that I do.
How can I improve my communication skills?
Comments
I understand you wanting to work on this, but if you are actually the best worker and produce the best product, the fact that people underestimate you sounds like something they need to work on.
I personally hate office speak and the need to present yourself in a particular way in the work place. I feel a lot more comfortable around colleagues like yourself that are a bit more loose and genuine.
Maybe you’re in the wrong environment and need to find one that suits the person that you are, because I think you sound great!
I’m also like this and I kinda have to just think about what is my first response vs what my response should be. Like I’ll write an email and then rewrite it in a way that doesn’t sound like me
I’m like this and I find that people actually value it. I’m not rude or disrespectful either, but if someone needs to know something they’ll get an honest answer. I prefer concise and clear communication, not corporate bullshit. And if people don’t like it or judge me for it, my work speaks for itself anyway.
You don’t have to parrot corporate lingo if you work hard and do good work. I’ve flatly refused to talk like a corporate cog my entire career and it’s never held me back. If you’re being honest when you don’t know a thing, that’s actually a good trait. The corporate world is bloated with people who are faking it and never actually making it. Don’t feel pressure to be them.
“Think before you speak” is the obvious answer.
Think about how what you say is perceived by others.
How you communicate can and will impact your future career. It often doesn’t matter if you “deliver the best product”… if others don’t take you seriously, you won’t be on the forefront of people’s minds when they are looking to hire someone for higher positions. (Or maybe you will, but in the wrong way e.g. “OP is really great, but she lacks executive presence and for that reason, she wouldn’t be my first pick for this role”)
Well first you don’t sound dumb, I think negative self talk can be really harmful in your confidence. My advice is to
just pause and think before you speak.
For example:
When you said you’re not afraid to admit you don’t know something that’s a great quality, they key I’ve noticed is to follow it up with something insinuating that you will take action to seek whatever thing it is. Saying a version of what you said like “I dont know but I can get back to you” obviously depending on the situation.
With highlighting your skills like your colleagues, sometimes I don’t realize how much I do or all of the things I have experience with until I write it down and then it can almost be a little cheat sheet for you like I’ve worked on xyz, I’ve had experience is abc and so on and so forth.
If you were my friend, I’d tell you not say anything like I’m here for the money to work folks. It immediately creates some weirdness even though technically everyone is there for the money. It’s almost like you have your honest unfiltered thoughts with friends/family but you have to move a bit differently with coworkers.
Communication is basically learning to effectively get your point across to people with different life experiences, cultural norms, and opposing preferences.
The trick to improving communication involves only saying what needs to be said until you build rapport with each individual person you talk to. Only when you build rapport do you begin to be more expressive and vulnerable in your communication style in a way that is comfortable for the social environment.
Some people use humor and blunt communication to win people over. But the goal shouldnt be to win people over at all, rather be able to just get your jobs done with mutual support. Then the friendship comes second.
Id re-filter your conversation in a way that only applies to getting work done effectively. And leave the humor and blunt energy for trustworthy friends.
Worry less about how you think other people perceive you unless it’s affecting your relationships, working or otherwise, in a negative way. Lots of people talk out the side of their mouth but it’s what they deliver that is the deciding factor. There’s much value in being authentic regardless of the level of surface appreciation you might receive for it. It’s always a good idea to practice discernment when you’re pretty free and simple in your way of talking so it doesn’t hold you back professionally.
Its absolutely fine to admit things you don’t know (and can be seen as a sign of intelligence), but in my experience, how you say these things to someone else can have a BIG impact on how it’s perceived.
If you’re appear to be nonchalant or are being self-deprecating, you might give off the impression to your coworkers that you don’t care and that they can’t depend on you… which from their perspective could mean that they’ll have to fix your mistakes/pick up your slack. For similar reasons, I’d steer clear of saying anything like,”I worked in this job for money.” In reality, most of us just work in our jobs for money, but when your voicing it to your coworkers, you might be coming across as apathetic towards your work, which could result in your coworkers believing that they can’t depend on you to be a team player and that they might end up with a higher workload as a result.
When you don’t know someone or forgot something, its still definitely okay (and even good!) to admit it, but then try to follow up with saying what specific action you plan to do to rectify the problem. For example:
By following up with what action you plan to take to rectify the issue at hand, you’re taking accountability for your work and showing initiative on how you plan to fix it & learn from the issue so that you don’t make the same mistake again.
Toastmasters is focused on public speaking. I work with my therapist on this and friends that are understanding. I’m autistic and while I prefer people to get to the point and reduce filler words, I recognize this is commonly not well received in written and oral communication.
I’d recommend focusing on pausing 2 full seconds before responding. This also allows other people in the room to speak. Additionally, a moment for your brain to determine if you are making an internal comment aloud or if you actually have a question or something to contribute.
In casual settings with friends, blurting things out of more accepted than in a professional environment