Hi , i am in a relationship from two years with this man. Everything is going well. He is very caring ,sweet and never raises his voice on me . We are in a committed relationship. He does a full time job at a store. He is been buzy with his work . Its been a week i have not talked properly with him. Each time i call him he never picks my call and says he is buzy with work. Even at night he calls be before sleeping and sometimes doesn’t call. But when i get angry on him and ask him the reason he tells me he was cought up with work and all that. Even though i have not got any evidence of him cheating on me . I have become suspicious of his every action. I feel sometimes that someone is there in his life that i not know about or maybe he is giving his time to someone else. I dont know if i am thinking too much. I have become so insecure . I check his insta id and stalk him. However, I haven’t found anything. I need some help and advice. I have fought with him on this issue so many times . I even say to him to leave me but he doesn’t want to . Neither do i but i hate what am feeling right now ……. Please someone guide me what to do !?
I have suddenly started becoming suspicious of my boyfriend for no reason!!
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It sounds like your anxiety is speaking louder than reality right now. If there’s no real evidence, try to trust his actions he’s still choosing to be with you. Honest communication about how you feel, without blame, might help more than fighting. You deserve peace, not constant worry.
See how much longer this continues (like over 2 weeks) Regardless, y’all need to have a conversation! His actions have prompted you to become suspicious (distrust)Has this every happened before? Has he ever been really swamped at work and did he communicate that to you in the past? If so, why is this situation so different. I’d recommend explaining how his actions are making you feel and that honesty(or transparency/better would in case he accuses you of calling him dishonest) would reestablish trust in your relationship. Use this time to create a boundary as well, you owe it to each other to communicate when times may be rough.
— yet this could just be a one time thing (still discuss how you felt though)
It is not normal to not want to contact your partner I would exit the realtionship if he sees no issue in not being around or talking to you. That’s bizarre.
It’s not for no reason. You have valid reason. All of a sudden after two years his behavior has changed. Listen to your gut, to that little voice. All of a sudden he’s too busy at work for you? That doesn’t sound right at all. Either he needs time to himself/ time away from you, for some innocent reason or his attention is going to someone else. He needs to communicate what’s going on. It’s not fair to you. Guys will stay in a relationship forever while they do things on the side. Are you long distance?
Trust your intuition. It’s rarely wrong.
if it’s making you lose your peace, it’s already costing too much
This is a HUGE red flag!! Ghost and BLOCK asap. No one is that good, he’s hiding SOMETHING!!!
/s low key hate this sub.
Okay, so it sounds like you recognize that you are being the problem here. You’re aware that you’re engaging in unwarranted behavior. Your boyfriend sounds very patient.
The next step might be to start analyzing why you might feel this sort of way. I don’t know your life, but this kind of seems like trauma induced behavior to me. Have you ever been deeply betrayed before?
In order to get over this, you have to take a deep dive within your inner psychological workings. I recommend therapy, could be a good place to start, but I know that can be so expensive…….
Being self aware, as you’ve demonstrated by posing this prompt is a first and crucial step. Don’t stop there, and perhaps if you can’t do therapy, look for family members or close friends that you trust have your best interest at heart for good advice.
If he’s in retail, food, etc he may very well be busy. My husband is a food service manager. He’s always busy.
What country/culture are you from? What ages? I assume you live separately. What are the living arrangements? Have you talked about marriage and children?
what you should do is not be in a relationship.
“Its been a week i have not talked properly with him. Each time i call him he never picks my call and says he is buzy with work.”
He’s doing something in the evenings…does he not tell you what it is? Definitely sus.
Thank you’ll, i talked to me and he said he will text me if he is going to be busy or going somewhere. Whenever we fight i end up saying him to leave me ik its very toxic to say but still he never says the same to me. He said he will not let me go and doesn’t want to leave me . I think i got clarity from all these advises . I think this was all my insecurity…..once again thank you !!!!
Trust your gut.