EDIT: I NEED TO HIDE THE TREATMENT. from my parent. The title sounds so bad wow.
EDIT 2: I understand I am a legal adult and I don’t have to tell him. It’s the fact he’d figure it out. My doctor is not picking up the phone once again. I keep trying to call. Not like spam call but over the past 2 days.
EDIT: I am no longer locked out they just let me back in
I’ve had it for 7-8 months. My doctor is only referring me to the dept of health bc she doesn’t carry the injections I need in the HOSPITAL she works in and that this original place she referred me to will only do an e consult to talk abt what I should do. I’m 19f. I can’t tell my parent. Because of what my doctor originally told me, I was gonna go see her about it, I told my parent it was just a uti. I have already told him. they found it in my blood, and want me to take a urine sample I told him I already did so I can’t go back yet. I DONT DRIVE YET. and everything is SO FAR AWAY. I could lyft but idk. I don’t have any friends that could take me, maybe I do actually but it’s just hard. Maybe as a last resort.
What do I say to my parent? Please help. I really can not tell them for a multitude of reasons it is NOT AN OPTION at all. It is NOT AN OPTION so do not say tell him I repeat it is NOT AN OPTION. there are no buses in my area. The place they want me to go is crazy far but I can probably try urgent care.
I’m thinking ovarian cyst that they mistook for a uti and they wanna try hormone therapy rather than surgery. What else can I say?
The dept of health would not do a uti, and reading about them I feel like he’d guess it. As soon as I told him I had an appointment made the next day for my blood results I said idk I have to call them, and then I did and found out why. He kept asking repeatedly “well there has to be a reason they made it?” When I was saying IDK I DIDNT CALL YET. Like he was already pushing. Maybe he was just worried bc when I said it was a uti he dropped it
Please help. I feel like I have nobody to talk to about this. I have an online friend that’s it and they can’t do much yk. I can’t stop thinking. What if I have neurosyphilis by now?and it’s eating my brain? I have no symptoms or so I think. So I think it’s latent. Idk I have ocd so no matter what I hear I can’t. I feel like a dirty whore. I haven’t even had sex I’m a virgin. I gave head a couple times to one person and then received head once. And he tells me he’s never had it, it’s my ex I used to hang out with. What fucking ex????? What ex??? There was no ex?????
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What do i say? I already said it’s a uti. I’m stuck. I feel like something is trying to force me to tell my parent. It’s the fact that it’s someone older and it’s someone they knew that makes it such an issue. Idk what to do. Please help.
I need them to call me the people they said I can have an e consult with, infectious control or something idk wtf it is
I literally feel like I can feel it in my blood and idk what to do. Idk where to go. I can’t go to my parent. Help
Quit panicking, that’s the first thing. What test came back positive?
I could lyft there and back I’ll probably do that
Do you have a friend that could drive you?
Take a chill pill. Syphilis is super treatable. Calm it down.
I am super confused by your post. Call your doctor’s office and ask for the test results. They can send a prescription to your local pharmacy. Also, get a drivers license.
Is one of these online pharmacy type things an option for you? Here is an example of what I mean: https://www.callondoc.com/en/std/syphilis
I think it takes 10 – 20 years of untreated syphllis for neuro syphyllis to set in. Still it’s not something that you can ignore.
They can give you pills. I don’t know why they won’t? Doxy isn’t as preferred as a penicillin shot but it works. Ask them to call that in for you. You can take doxy for all kinds of things. I’d call and say you have no transportation for an injection but you can get to a pharmacy. They’ll want to treat it asap.
I am not an expert in this department but I want to say how sorry I am that you are going through this, and you don’t deserve it. I’m going to give some things off the top of my head and maybe one will help but please do whatever you can to take care of yourself. The Dept of Health or your school might have social workers to help you figure out this stuff. Another option to not involve your parents is a local planned parenthood. I don’t know your parents or anything but if it was my son, I would really want him to tell me so I could help him. I am also concerned that you are so young and your partner who you might have gotten it from is so much older and a friend of your parents? Please find a trusted adult in your life who can help you. If not your parents, a teacher, school nurse, dept of health social worker, anyone that can help you navigate this.
You can tell them the original antibiotic didn’t work, and you need a new prescription and have to see the doctor for it. Or you have to go in and take a new urine test.
Deep breaths
False positive results for syphilis are common, so common that the standard is to immediately run confirmatory testing with a different test off the same blood sample.
There are oral antibiotic treatments for syphilis available. The health department can talk to you about getting those sent to a pharmacy if you can’t reach them to access the usual standard injectable treatment.
I work at Planned Parenthood and work with the health department in my county to coordinate syphilis care all the time. The HD is super good at figuring out how to get people treatment.
And I can pretty much guarantee you don’t have neurosyphilis after less than a year. It’s pretty much exclusively in folks who have had syphilis for 5+ years.
Ok, stop freaking out. You can’t think straight when you panic. You can’t “feel” it in your blood, that’s just psychosomatic and making it worse. I have a couple clarifying questions:
This advice comes from someone who also had to sneak to/from the doctors without others knowing.
It’s not a crisis yet. First of all call your doctors office and tell them explicitly they are not to release any medical information to your parents. HIPAA governs here. Your parents are not entitled to your medical information.
Secondly, there are many treatments that can require extensive antibiotics. For example, toxic shock syndrome if you use tampons, or even something like BV can be treated with oral antibiotics. Ask your provider to write a script for orally administered antibiotics.
You will be ok. This is treatable and you probably won’t suffer any permanent side effects.
I’ve never had a cyst, so I’m just guessing here, I could imagine they would’ve needed to do an ultrasound to see it
The doctor is referring you to the health department because syphilis is a disease that is reported and tracked to try and keep down the spread. You are 19 so no one needs to tell your parent. But they will ask for your recent sex partners contact info in order to contact them and encourage them to get tested. They will not tell those people who you are. But the bottom line is if you’re adult enough to be having sex you need to be adult enough to be honest and responsible.
Reading your other comments, I just want to add. First, you’re gonna be ok. Second, no matter what happens with your parents, they just want you to be healthy. They care about you, remember that.
Sweetheart, you’re so young and I’m sorry you’re in this situation. I’m going to speak to you as I do my own daughter.
Firstly, if you call your dr’s office and speak with the nurse, you can explain that you’re unable to come back in and ask them to send in a prescription. Doxy can be used to treat syphillis AND uti’s so your cover story will hold up.
Secondly, this is one of those moments that gives you a clear choice in life. Clearly, you are engaging in behavior that risks your health. ALWAYS wear a condom. Always get tested between sexual partners. You are only 19 and you’ve put yourself at an increased risk for any number of stis and cancers. I’m not going to bring religion into sex, but I will say that if you will need to set basic ground rules for yourself in what you will do and not do sexually. I’m very sex positive, but it’s important to explore in ways that are both physically and mentally healthy. Please promise me that you will follow up with your doctor and be certain that they ran a full STI panel. Most offices have a standard one and a full one which looks for more things.
I know this is scary. I get the feeling you want to tell your mom because you want someone to hug you and tell you everything is going to be ok. And sweetheart, it is. This is a hard lesson and I’m sorry that you had to experience this. Be gentle with yourself. We all make mistakes. Tell yourself the things you would say to a friend in this situation, not the thing your bully would say. big hugs
Syphilis takes a while to show up and to start causing problems. It can go into hiding for years. You are starting your treatment plenty early and will make a full recovery.
You can always talk to your healthcare provider about your problem. The worst they can tell you is they can’t help you. But they might have some ideas on how to help you keep your private health information private from your dad while not interrupting your treatment.
Sexually transmitted diseases thrive because people have lots of sex. Not just you, MOSTLY EVERYBODY. I think that makes all of us dirty whores, welcome to the party!
Take a Lyft to the first appt. Get your results and explain you are in an unsafe situation. They should be able to help you if you need to keep coming there or maybe they can arrange for your doctor to receive the medication. You might need a bolus of medication and they’ll give you a shot and then move to an oral antibiotic. Tell dad that the UTI is now a bladder infection and more treatment needed so it doesn’t travel further up and damage your kidneys. Throw in a bunch of graphic stuff about your period and uterus and ovaries and I bet he’ll tune out.
Then work on finding a friend or trusted older adult that can help you. Do you work/go to college? Volunteer? Any kind of contact where you could say you’re going to that and then talk to doctor and a social worker to come up with a treatment plan that keeps you safe.
Syphilis in the first year of infection only requires a single dose of penicillin. If you had no other encounter that could have resulted in transmission, you should tell the clinic that. But you have to be sure that you got it in the last year. A titer of 1:2 would be unusually low for having got it 7-8 months ago. Otherwise, it is 3 weekly doses of penicillin. Syphilis is really common these days and the symptoms are easy to miss. Get a retest and a single dose of penicillin. Tell your parent you are getting the HPV vaccine ?
Hi love, I’m sorry to hear you experiencing such intense distress. I haven’t had any run-ins with syphilis, but I do have genital herpes, so I empathize with the stress of this sort of situation.
You’ve gotten a lot of good advice here. My additional advice is, once you get this all sorted (confirmatory testing, treatment, etc.), is to take the time to map out your healthcare plans moving forward. You’re 19, there are a variety of ways to use transportation options available to access medical care. Find a primary care physician (I recommend One Medical if you have one in the area), and establish an understanding with your parent on how you’re going to access medical care for any reason. This is an important thing to start thinking about in general as you continue to venture into adulthood.
Shame shouldn’t keep you from saying “I need to see a doctor” and not have to tell them why. That’s your private info!
Last thing, take the time to learn about STIs, and I mean really learn about them. Most folks don’t learn about them until they actually get one. Educating yourself is important to protect yourself and to help end the stigmas associated with so many STIs! I’m here to answer any questions you may have, (especially about the herpes simplex virus)!
OP, I don’t mean to be hurtful but is the person who gave you the STD your father?
Oh poor baby! How old are you sweetie?
Take a breath. Panicking won’t help. I know it is scary.
Pathogens aren’t personal. You aren’t dirty or morally damaged. It’s a bacteria- that’s all. This can be taken care of and well treated.
If there is a safety reason Dad can’t know, then use this- you have a uti the culture taken by the doctor came back with antibiotic resistant bacteria. The health department is tracking the antibiotic resistance because it presents a risk for hospital acquired transmission. You need antibiotic injections to make sure it is taken care of and it does not reoccur. (Very close to the truth and explains the care you need)
Tell your dad you were too late going to the doctor for your UTI, and you need an antibiotic shot because your UTI has turned into a renal pelvic inflammation. It basically means that it spread to your kidneys.
Tell him it will just be an outpatient clinic treatment at clinic x and that you will be fine afterwards.
I would avoid extraneous details, the best cover ups always have a grain of truth. “The doctor wants to add a urine test because my blood results showed I might need further treatment.”
“I don’t really know all the details yet, I just want to follow up the way my doctor recommends.”
Your doctor works at a hospital that doesn’t have penicillin?
You’re going to be ok. It’s not time to panic.
Can you get treatment at planned patenthood so you don’t have to give. Them your insurance info?
The screening blood test can be falsely positive in certain cases. Do you have a planned parenthood near you?
Hey, it’s probably one shot or three weekly shots, depending on the results. Source: I am a nurse who gives those shots.
It’s really easy to treat! If you are in the US, you might be able to find a Federally Qualified Health Center and lots of them will have a care coordination department that might be able to send a ride or give you a voucher for an Uber.
If you have any questions about the shot, I would be happy to answer them.
This is an easy fix. Results came back. It’s turned into a kidney infection so I need stronger antibiotics. I need to go in for a shot and then pick up a prescription.
Is there a planned parenthood in your area?
You can say the UTI isn’t getting much better and now they are concerned it will become a kidney infection. (That can be deadly). They want you to come back for more testing and possibly stronger antibiotics if they determine you need it.