throwaway since my friends know my reddit. but i don’t really know who else to turn to. i (26m) just found out my girlfriend (25f) has been cheating on me with my brother (29m). i’ve been with her for about 6 years and we have a 4 year old son together. im now questioning paternity. excuse me as im on mobile crying and drinking a fireball in my bathroom
it all came out at our son’s 4th birthday party a few days ago. it was at my mom’s house and everything seemed normal, i was playing with my son and wanted to take a few photos so i went inside to grab my phone and i heard my girlfriend giggling down the hall behind a closed door. i realized i haven’t seen her in maybe 20-30 minutes so i was wondering if she was with someone or just on the phone. i went back to the party to grab a slice of cake to surprise her. when i was near the door i kept hearing that playful “stoppp” girls usually do when they are “flirting” and i was really confused, but i still opened the door, and i see she’s cuddled up on top of my brother. he was in his boxers and her makeup looked smudged and her shirt was on the floor. i couldn’t even say anything . i just stood there like an idiot. they both immediately noticed me and my girlfriend jumped and immediately started explaining herself, but i was so angry i can’t even remember what she was saying. i told my uncle i have a work emergency and i had to leave. my mom started calling me freaking out because she knows this is my week off and i rarely ever have to deal with work after hours. i didn’t tell her what happened yet. i haven’t told anyone because honestly my wife is my only friend. she never liked when i hung out with my boys or my childhood friends because i was “taking too much attention off her and our son”.
the part that’s now messing with me the most is our son. I know this might be a huge reach and i might just be angry, but ever since my son was born, there has been a running joke among my family that my son looks like my brother. I kind of saw it, but always dismissed it because i trusted my wife and i knew she wouldn’t do anything like that to me. My brother has always been the one to start the joke and my girlfriend would always laugh. A lot of things that they used to do is now becoming more clear, like the fact that once or twice a week they often go out together and my wife would always come back super happy and giggly, she would tell me how her day was, but when i would try to initiate intimacy later in the day she would always say she’s too exhausted (she has an insane s*x drive)
i am spiraling and i have no one in my life to turn to. my phone has been absolutely blowing up with messages from both my girlfriend, her trash friends and my brother but i can’t even bring myself to read them. i am spiraling and i don’t know what to do anymore. i feel like the life i have dreamt of as a kid is completely ruined and i feel too old to restart. my life is over
Comments
Get a lawyer, get a paternity test
Yeah, the red flag in there was she didn’t let you have friends. And she has been using that weakness she created against you. Even her own kid, against you. Double child support, extra for her vanity? Could be.
This I am sorry to hear, I’d would ask both how long this has been going on? Get the paternity test and I would have to move on from her and see the results. I wish you the best and stay strong. You’re a young man and a lot of life ahead of you . God bless .
Paternity test. And a lawyer to get out of paying child support.
New account karma farming
Eww omg i just threw up in my mouth alittle. 🤮 get a paternity test, tell everyone they know! Embarrass the ever loving 💩 out of both of them! Let them deal with the mess they made. You deserve better! You should dump them
Both and find better! A better woman and ew your ex- brother is just complete garbage. Gross
Is she your wife or your girlfriend?
Im sorry to hear that this happened to you but id definitely get a paternity test and find any proof of their “relationship” it’ll be helpful later on because realistically I dont think theres any coming back from that
Girlfriend? Wife? Which is it???
You need a lawyer and a paternity test. You will also need therapy. You need to take care of yourself.
I know it seems impossible now, but you will survive this for a better day. Just keep moving. You can explain it to HR or a manager at work. You may need some time off.
Please be kind to yourself. No one deserves this type of betrayal. The therapy will help you trust yourself again one day.
OP, do you love your son because you will need to make a big decision now, he only knows you as daddy. Sometimes ignorance is bliss for you.
Like I said you have a decision that punishes you with a possible horrible truth and will punish an innocent child. I don’t envy your choice.
u/bot-sleuth-bot
She was never your friend. A true friend, a true wife, would support her husband in living a whole and good life, including time with friends. I am sorry to say, but you have been the victim of a neurotic person who has manipulated you for a long time. Simple advice. Do not think, but act based on what is right. Paternity test, cut of this thing who pretended to be a brother, Holger a lawyer and document everything, including writing down how you found out etc
Get a lawyer and demand a paternity test. I’m sorry you are cuddling your boyfriend’s brother and half naked fuck outta here. There’s no explaining anything. She got caught, and that’s the end of the story. I would have started yelling and make everyone see what these two dumbasses were doing.
Getting a lawyer is cheaper than paying to raise a child that probably isn’t yours.
Your brother man, what a gawddamn asshole. Do you love your son? Yeah, I think it’s a good time to probably drop the girlfriend. It’s not the kids fault man.
If I were in your situation, I would talk to a lawyer and go to therapy. Also a paternity test should be done. Make sure you lock your credit so she can’t take loans out in your name. Also make sure she doesn’t drain the bank accounts. In short, she is not to be trusted with anything.
Faaaaaaaaake!!!
Dude, you’re only 26, you have plenty of life ahead of you! This is going to suck for a while and continue being painful, but it will end and life will move on even though that may not feel possible right now. I would go no contact with both of them and get a paternity test on the kid. You don’t need people like that in your life, I wouldn’t ever speak to either of them ever again, total disrespect and disregard for you.
Idk seems fake. Never met a girl with an insane sex drive. 😂
I think that for your peace you need to know if your child is your nephew or your son, just for you (the child is still innocent so let’s leave him in his world as an innocent child). So you need to take a paternity test. Then you must confront the two monsters who dealt you the worst possible blow: How could your brother betray blood ties in such a despicable way? Your girlfriend, no comment but a cheating partner is unfortunately not something rare but doing it with your OWN BROTHER? That’s over the limit. It’s despicable and you need to tell them to their face that what they did to you is absolutely unforgivable and that they hurt you immensely (and add a few insults to warm your heart)
Your story tore my heart, I support you with all my strength and keep us informed.
Please know that you have done NOTHING wrong. They are the vile humans. Let them rot in hell.
Courage 🫂
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Sorry to hear this, I don’t think it takes a detective to solve this case. You already caught her once. If she’s hanging out with him alone that’s a weird thing, but I get you’re all family so it SHOULD be ok. Get a test, just get it over with….
If your brother is indeed the father, sue him for child support
I just want to say I’m so sorry this has happened to you and hope you pull through and find the answers you’re looking for. What a horrible situation to be put in by the one person you trusted 😌.
1st mistake was ditching your mates. Any decent girl would want you to have friends. Its healthy
Your brother is a piece of shit
That is going to have to be one in depth paternity test.
Both of them are your enemies now.
Your brother is the worst kind of human. Your wife is a W****.
Contact a lawyer. Document EVERYTHING… go scorched earth… anyone who is not on your side is also your enemy. Go NC… all communication through your lawyer.
Do not let ANYONE (Mom) gaslight you into forgiveness. You can forgive AND maintain NC.
So you’ve never been through the ceremony of marriage? Check with a divorce attorney because you she might be able to sue for common law… I know because I went through it in CO. Each state has different common law marriage criteria. Time is seldom a factor. Common property (house purchase) can be. Public representation (did you two introduce yourself in public as husband/wife). Did either of you put the other on your insurance? These are just a few. There are other indicators or you might even be in a state that does not recognize a common law marriage criteria.
I wish you the best of luck… protect yourself.
I am so sorry. My ex cheated on me with my younger sister and it absolutely destroyed me as a person. I was lucky enough I didn’t have a kid with the dude. I couldn’t imagine the position you’re in being roped in with her WITH a child. I wish you the best of luck.
It will be way easier in the long run if your brother is the father. You can all of them out of your life
Who else thought about Ryan Giggs when seeing the headline?
Okay so, first off you’re not too old to restart. Secondly, a lawyer isn’t too hard to get, if you’ve been taking care of a family reliably then you can save a little for a lawyer, maybe like 2 or so weeks and it’ll be fine. Thirdly, I’d honestly just throw the whole damn phone away and get a new one that has family on it. And lastly, your family has to know, you can’t just leave them all in the dark, you are spiraling because you have no support system. Your designated support system is responsible for taking 6 years of your life away and you can’t go back to that. She’s supposed to be your wife, she turned out to be for the streets, you can’t go back to that shit less you bring yourself to that level. You are going to be okay, you have plenty of life left to live and men can have children into their 40’s without much issue. Get a blood test tho, find out if that’s your child and maybe use that paper as proof of infidelity. Actually, I wouldn’t talk to anyone until you got a blood test. She can’t stop you from taking your son to the hospital when you are still his guardian.
You are only 26 years old. That’s far from too old for a restart.
Get a lawyer and do a paternity test.
But please remember that the child is innocent and you have been his father all his life so far. You both love each other. Don’t let him suffer because of your wife and brother’s bad decisions. If you abruptly cut off contact with him too, it will be a traumatic experience for him. If he is not your son, perhaps you can slowly phase out contact for the sake of the child, if this is possible with the mother and for you of course.
You blow that shit up, op. Get ahead of both of them and THEIR narrative bc, op, if you dont, they will lie and make you the bad guy.
Tell everyone the truth. Don’t hold back. They both need consequences.