So my mom (60) has been having severe early onset alzheimer’s symptoms for about 18 months where she can’t talk and mumbles, she gets lost driving near the house and jobs she’s worked for years, she wrecked her car a few weeks ago while she was disoriented and she was taken to jail for “fleeing the police,” a felony 4 days ago. She was just driving home. I have no info that says what actually happened.
I called her the night she went to jail and her phone was off. She said something about sleeping with her phone earlier in the day so I thought maybe she just forgot to charge it. Well the next morning it was the same thing and then after work it was the same thing, straight to voicemail.
She goes to work with people that really care about her and know me too. This is the part that really gets me. I had to call the Non-Emergency Number to find out what happened to her. A random dispatcher had to tell me that she was arrested. And when I called the person I knew I could talk to about it she said “I know” when I said my mom’s in jail. And she didn’t tell me? Maybe it’s because i’m 1,000 miles away from my mom and in no financial position to help? That didn’t mean I was just gonna sit there with my sick mom in jail. Hell no.
So, what did i do? I went on every website for the county to see as much info on her case as I could. I emailed the public defenders office, the judge and the records office to get the police report.
The next morning I got a call from her lawyer. The email worked!! I was able to talk to him because I was the connection between the lawyer and the people that could help bail her out and get her home safely. I sent the correct info to the right people and a few hours later I heard she was getting bailed out. And online I saw the bail went from $2500 to $100.
She should be getting out today and getting back to normality. And I’m making someone take her keys and junk her car (it’s wrecked but still drives and is probably unfixable) and order delivery for her or have someone bring her stuff. I really just need some reassurance that I did the right thing because I was met with backlash from my Grandmother for something unrelated while telling her about this situation so i’m feeling so sad and tight in my throat.
I seriously can’t wait to hear her voice!!
Thank you ❤️
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Not a parent old enough to be yours, but I would absolutely hope that my daughter would do the same for me. Your grandma could just be tired of it, which is absolutely normal (and devastating imo), and just wanted someone else to have the responsibility (if she lives close)
I think you absolutely did the right thing. We, as a race, are really supposed to take care of our older generation when this happens, but the stigma around it is so gnarly. Thank you for caring about your mom, and from so far away as well. I 100% believe you did the right thing and you should be proud of yourself
This is exactly what I would hope my kids do if I’m ever in that situation. Granted – the losing the car/keys would probably make me mad, but any loss of independence is difficult no matter what age.
I’m impressed at your abilities to track her down! Determination – shows how much you care about her. You did the right thing. Your mom is lucky to have someone like you in her corner. ❤️
Alzheimer’s is a brutal diagnosis. You 100% did the right thing and this is likely a scary/confusing time.
Here are some things if you feel like you can organize it or work with your mom or someone near her:
Start a Brain Health Plan This is the first step to try to reduce the decline as much as possible. This isn’t something that will stop decline, but it has been shown through studies to help reduce decline without medication.
Call the Alzheimer’s Association 24/7 hotline. 800-372-3900 This will give you information, your mom information, your grandmom. Everyone who is impacted (or even just people who want more information, general public questions are ok too.)
Visit Alzheimer’s.org and Alzheimer’s.gov Both of these sites will give you lots of information to assist.
The hard part will be figuring out what you can do, where you can do it, and support for your mom, you and those around you. Please get support as this is a difficult time at best. <3