When I (25F) was 12, my family visited back home (Canada to Philippines) for a month. My older male cousin (15), who was my best friend growing up was pretty touchy with me from the beginning (arm around my waist or shoulder during car rides), kiss my cheek goodbye, that kind of stuff. About a week/week and a half into our trip, we were sitting in the back of the car alone while waiting for our family to finish shopping. My head was turned away, but he called my name and kissed me on the mouth. I was taken aback and uncomfortable, but ultimately froze. For the rest of the trip, he was very affectionate with me when no one else was around (fully kissing me on the mouth, neck, groping my chest, getting on top of and grinding on me while making out). Because I eventually reciprocated the kissing I don’t know how to feel. When we got back home I eventually came to my senses and felt very disgusted after the fact. It seems like I buried the memories and the general feelings of disgust have returned. I would just like some advice on how to process and move forward. Thank you.
I just remembered something that happened when I was younger and I’d like advice on how to process the memory and move forward?
r/Advice
Comments
33M
I know this is reddit, and almost everyone, including myself, aint doctors, but i think you could stand some help from a professional.
Its not bc you are sooo broken or mess up that none of us can help.
Its that, im willing to bet, that both you are your cousin have some issues.
Your cousin, at 15, saw zero issue in objectify a 12 year old girl.
I think there is a part of you that realizes thst there is some deeper here, and your male cousin has some serious issues.
You are atruggling with this bc deep down, you know it wasnt right.
Not bc you did wrong, but bc your cousin basically used you how he would want a girl, but you were 12.
15 year olds know 12 is too young.
Your cousin didnt care.
Now you are dealing with the fallout.
The fallout being at the age of 12, you were waaaayyy to young to even understand what was goijg on.
You reciprocate is only bc it felt right.
Not bc you are bad or messed up.
Your cousin took advantage of you.
He dkd it out of sight.
If any of this is true, you are a victim of sexualization at a young age.
It wasnt your fault.
You didnt do anything wrong.
You were too young to even have a slightest clue.
Theres a part of you that alreasy knows this