I keep attracting porn addicted men and it’s ruined my self esteem

I have zero self esteem. I find myself in relationships with porn addicted men.

First bf in highschool could never finish in bed and had to jerk off to porn to finish while laying in bed with him

Second bf, was so porn addicted he was on reddit messaging meth head prostitutes twice his age trying to hook up over having sex with me. He would watch thousands of porn videos in two months while not having interest in sex with me.

My fourth bf, was on OF and fansly and was subscribed and messaging these people and I don’t think and my friends don’t think they were nearly as attractive as me and laughed when I showed them who he was cheating on me with.

I am now convinced that I am just utterly repulsing and literally anything/anyone is better than and more appealing than me. It doesn’t matter how much I tell myself it’s not personal and they have a problem it’s not clicking. It’s happened to many times now that I’m the common denominator and so it has something to do with me.

My friends will point out a guy who definitely is interested or wants to hook up. But I think a guy seeing me naked is traumatizing to them and would be repulsing. And if a guy was interested in me he’d probably get bored after one time and feel gross that he slept with me.

I don’t think I think I’m so disgusting but for some reason men just don’t want to have sex with me. I can’t shake it. I just feel like a shell sometimes and thinking about dating another man makes me so anxious and like there’s no point because he’s just gonna constantly looking at other women wishing I looked like them and is gonna fight every cell in his body to not cheat on me all the time. And he’s just gonna be bored after a month and just shut me down with every advance. It makes me wanna die sometimes tbh.